My son Jack is a picky eater, or so I think. He stopped eating vegetables after the age of 2. He refuses new foods and I usually throw away most of his dinner. My husband and I tried not to eat dessert and even followed him and ate in big bites.
In fact, despite our best intentions, we just made Jack’s diet worse. Research shows that adult behavior—how we handle our children’s meals and how we treat our own—has a lot to do with what children eat.
Read on for 10 expert tips that can help you shape your child’s eating patterns or prevent eating problems altogether.
1. Set a good example
What’s the number one thing you can do to avoid eating problems in your toddler? Eat well yourself – in front of them.
Jane Kauer, who studies picky eating, says adults who enjoy a variety of nutritious foods in a happy environment are more likely to have children with the problem than adults who constantly diet, overeat, refuse vegetables or simply leave their children alone to eat. Children who eat with a healthy attitude.
Building a healthy relationship with food can do more than just help your child make food choices. It also helps them understand when they are hungry and how to adjust their bodies. It can also help prevent disordered eating habits.
2. Reduce stress
Forced eating of any kind is the parental behavior experts most disapprove of. “Kids can become overwhelmed,” says Ellyn Satter, a nutritionist and family therapist in Madison, Wisconsin. “Even if children do eat these foods, they may avoid them when given the opportunity.”
Additionally, stress makes eating a control issue. “It’s no longer about the food; it’s the child’s need for autonomy,” said the late Dr. Betty Ruth Carruth, a former nutritionist and professor at the University of Tennessee. parents.
hint
Forcing your child to eat can start with the first spoonful of rice cereal. “The new texture is not immediately accepted,” said Bryan Vartabedian, MD, chief pediatrics officer at Texas Children’s Hospital. “Offer three or four scoops, let it come out on the bib, and then put the scoops away.”
Some babies like homemade purees because it allows for a very gradual change in texture. Once children were able to feed themselves, Sutter advocated a division of responsibility strategy that was admired by many nutritionists and doctors. “Parents are responsible for what is served and how it is served,” she explains. “Children are responsible for how much they eat and even whether they eat it.”
3. Avoid using food as a reward
Only giving the kids cake when they eat broccoli is just another form of pressure. It will add to mealtime tension and won’t help them in the same way that broccoli will.
In fact, it may have the opposite effect, says Dr. Leann Birch, director of the Childhood Obesity Research Center and retired professor of human development and family studies in Penn State’s Department of Nutritional Sciences.
Another problem: When the reward is dessert, it sends the wrong message about what’s worth eating, and the dessert becomes more valuable than meat and vegetables. Additionally, a 2021 study found that even when children were rewarded with food for performing a cognitive task, the food was more valuable to them than for children who were rewarded for not performing the task.
How do you make the pleasure of eating itself a sweet reward? Avoid this problem by serving only fruit. Or make candy a judgment call rather than the result of strict accounting. You can also offer candies occasionally during scheduled snack times or as snacks so they aren’t associated with meals (or used in the bargain).
“A child who doesn’t crave any healthy options shouldn’t crave sweets either,” says Dr. Watabedian.
4. Don’t give up on new foods too early
Too many parents stick to chicken nuggets and grilled cheese because they eat them without complaint. “To eat a variety of foods, you have to offer a variety of foods,” says Dr. Jean Skinner, professor of nutrition in the Department of Nutrition at the University of Tennessee.
It pays to stick with it: Dr. Birch says it takes 10 to 15 exposures for a child to accept a new food. “You have to keep offering food and expect the child to eat it,” Sutter said.
How to get your kids to try new foods
The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) describes the “three E’s” of introducing children to new foods: exposure, exploration, and expansion. The first two E’s are preparatory and may involve sensory play, gardening, identifying foods at the market, and cooking.
Look for signs that your child is beginning to accept new foods:
- Watch you eat
- allow it on their plate
- Put it in your mouth and take it out
It doesn’t matter if they spit it out on a napkin. Sutter says try not to get frustrated when kids don’t eat, “and don’t get hysterical with joy when they take a step.”
5. Offer limited dining options
It’s easy to fall into the trap of having something different for each family member. But this doesn’t improve eating habits and is a waste of time and energy.
Instead, offer limited choices related to other family members’ diets. For example, if you’re having a sandwich, kids can choose between turkey and peanut butter.
Consider menu planning. “There should be at least one thing on the table that the child knows and likes,” says Sutter. Through “division of responsibilities,” children can choose not to eat anything on the table. If this happens, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends not offering food until later.
6. Keep portions small
In this land of super portions, we sometimes forget that kids are little, and therefore require smaller kid’s portions. A simple way to determine the appropriate serving size for young children is to calculate the relative equivalent of 1 tablespoon per year of life.
Too much food can frighten and frustrate children, and parents can feel disappointed when children see a full plate of food even though they have tasted everything. Start small and remember one green bean is better than none, and you can always offer more.
7. Limit juice and snack intake
Some kids spend their days eating cookies, crackers, and other snacks washed down from endless juice boxes. Neither habit is conducive to healthy eating because kids are full and don’t crave more nutritious options when it comes to eating real meals.
Dr. Vartabedian says there’s no need to cut out snacks and drinks entirely. “Instead, parents should view snacks as an opportunity to offer nutritious alternatives or new flavors. Make snack time a ritual—offer some healthy snack options at certain times of the day.” According to the AAP, 1 to 3 Children as young as 2 years old should limit their daily juice intake to 4 ounces. Juice provides limited nutritional value but contains a lot of sugar.
8. Allow chaos
One of the most common ways young children learn about food is through taste. So it’s good to tolerate chaotic mealtimes – if your kids need it to help them learn about different foods. “Feeding is a multi-sensory experience,” Dr. Watabedian said.
A new eater who has never been allowed to play with food may not enjoy it as much as someone who knows the joys of smeared bananas and crushed cookies. For young children, what they eat is more important than whether they eat with a fork.
9. Remember typical developments
Not everyone will learn to like every food. Some people simply experience stronger flavors, especially bitter ones. Additionally, the natural fear of new things, or neophobia, is strongest in the preschool years.
“Parents interpret this as fussy, but actually it’s adaptive and normal,” Dr. Birch said. Some children have more severe food phobias than others, mostly due to personality differences. Extreme food selectivity is also a characteristic of children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
When your child refuses new foods, you may be able to chalk it up to neophobia and keep trying. If after repeated exposure, they still don’t like it, accept that preference now. But if you’re concerned about their diet, talk to a health care provider. They can help you find sensible alternatives or refer you to a registered dietitian.
10.Relax
Even kids who seem to live on macaroni and cheese may not be as bad as their parents think. “Parents label their children as ‘picky eaters,’ which ultimately becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many of these children are actually quite normal,” Dr. Watabedian said.
Many people improve with age. One of the most important indicators of a serious problem is your child’s growth curve. Dr. Watabedian said if children grow at a normal rate, they can meet their nutritional needs. He added that young children meet these needs over a long period of time, rather than meal by meal or day by day.
For peace of mind, you can take a multivitamin, but remember that it’s better to get your nutrients from food. Another helpful exercise is to write down everything your child eats during the week, even down to a bite. If you take at least one serving from each food group, it’s not really that bad.
focus
Parents play an important role in shaping how their children view food. If parents want to help model healthy eating behaviors, they should follow ten tips, including offering limited mealtime options and reducing the pressure to finish meals. By adjusting your food framework, your picky eater should develop a new, healthier mindset.