In theory, most of us know that it’s a good idea to let children take on household responsibilities. Experts agree that assigning daily responsibilities to children should be a priority because of its significant benefits now and in the future.
Having a daily to-do list “can help children develop a sense of routine and structure and provide them with security and predictability in their lives,” says LCSW, licensed clinical social worker and clinical director of Brooks Treatment Center Lisa Anderson said. “Teaching them how to take responsibility also allows them to see themselves as valuable contributors to their family, which can boost their self-esteem.”
Here’s the icing on the cake – giving day-to-day responsibilities to your kids means you have less responsibility. It’s a win-win situation. Next, experts offer advice on age-appropriate responsibilities you can ask of your children.
Responsibility for young children
For young children, “routine, one-on-one contact with caring adults is critical for healthy development,” says Priya Rednam-Waldo, LMSW, a practicing therapist who specializes in Providing support to new parents and parents of four children, ages 4, 6, 8 and 13. feel.
Here are some responsibilities to consider.
dress yourself
Rednan-Waldo said teaching young children how to pick out and get dressed can develop skills like problem-solving, self-care and self-expression. “Even if the clothes don’t match, or it takes a few tries to get an arm into each sleeve, choosing an outfit and getting dressed can help build your child’s motivation to explore, learn and build new abilities,” she assures .
make their bed
Michelle English, a licensed therapist and co-founder and executive clinical manager of Healthy Life Recovery, says simple tasks like making the bed (spreading blankets on the bed, straightening pillows) are a great way to A great job for little kids. “It teaches them to take care of their personal space and belongings,” she said.
Remember: Young children may not fully make their bed, but making their bed is a good first step in learning how to make it successfully.
Help put away toys
For little ones, making it a habit to put away their toys after playing is a perfect responsibility. This activity can help your child understand concepts like organization and cleaning. “It also teaches them a sense of ownership of their property and helps them understand that they are responsible for maintaining their personal space,” Anderson explains.
Help set the table (helpful)
Stefani Hart CCLS, certified child life specialist and founder of Hart to Heart Family Support LLC, says preschoolers are in the process of developing a sense of autonomy and may want to complete tasks alone. Giving them responsibilities like setting the table (with adult help) will satisfy their desire for autonomy and getting things done. It also gives them a sense of community and purpose, Hart added.
Put clothes in basket
Even small children can learn to put dirty clothes in the basket. “This may seem like a simple task, but I think it’s a great way to teach kids personal responsibility,” said Stephanie Edenburgh, a mom of three and CEO of Bizzie Mommy. “When they hold on to that, it reinforces the idea that they have a role to play in the family, which allows them to take on greater responsibilities as they grow up.”
Responsibilities of school-age children
School-age children focus on making new friends, exploring interests and exploring the wider world outside of the home, Rednan-Waldo said. “It’s important for school-age children to know that what they do in life matters and has an impact on others,” she said.
Consider these responsibilities for your school-age children.
Setting the table (eventually no help needed)
By the time they reach school age, most children are ready to prepare the table for the family—at first with help, and then eventually on their own. “This responsibility teaches them the importance of cooperation and shared family activities,” English said. “It also introduces them to basic etiquette and the importance of facilitating the daily routines of the family.”
clear dishes
Asking your child to clean up their dishes after eating may seem like a small thing, but it sends an important message to your child. “While the dishes may seem trivial and children may resist, this responsibility reassures them that they matter in their home and within their family,” Rednan-Waldo said.
Pack your backpack and go to school
Let your children assemble a backpack for school to teach them responsibility for their belongings and show them how to respect their belongings. What if they don’t take this responsibility seriously? “If their backpack isn’t packed correctly or they refuse, it’s also an opportunity for natural consequences to help them understand the importance of taking care of their belongings and staying organized every day,” Hart said.
clean the room
Keeping your room clean and tidy is crucial as it helps your child take control of their space. Tammy Gold, LCSW, licensed therapist and Therapeutic Parenting Method parenting coach, also tells us that having a tidy space can make people calm and feel good. “Making the bed, putting clothes on the floor, or opening the blinds are simple things you can do that will not only help [your parents]but also makes yourself feel good and gives you a good start to the new day.
Help take care of pets
“Once your children reach school age, they can take on the responsibility of feeding a pet, which teaches them empathy and the importance of caring for others,” Anderson says. This responsibility also teaches consistency and reliability, as your pet will rely on you for meals. “This is an effective way for children to understand the impact of their actions on another living being and help them grow into compassionate adults,” Anderson said.
Teenagers’ Responsibilities
Teenagers are in the throes of adolescence and are undergoing major physical, mental, and emotional changes that can sometimes be challenging. “With daily responsibilities, open conversations and clear boundaries, teens can navigate these changes and grow into healthy, confident teens who are ready for early adulthood,” Rednan-Waldo said.
Next, you can find some responsibilities for teenagers.
laundry
Rednan-Waldo suggests teens start doing their own laundry. “Doing your own laundry teaches teens to make plans, learn life skills, complete multi-step tasks and experience independence,” she says. Make sure your kids fold and put away their clothes, too—leaving clean clothes in a pile on the floor is no fun for anyone.
do the washing up
Teenagers are fully capable of washing dishes and/or loading them in the dishwasher. Sure, they might not be able to load the dishwasher perfectly at first, and their pot-washing skills might not be up to par, but dishwashing is a basic task they can learn and one they’ll definitely need as adults .
clean their bathroom
No one likes cleaning the bathroom, but it’s a task you can feel free to give to your kids. “For teenagers, cleaning the bathroom is a process that requires attention to detail and awareness of hygiene,” Anderson points out. “While this is not a task many teenagers want to perform, it teaches them the importance of keeping clean, not only for themselves but for others who share the space.”
Take out the trash
This is another chore that no one usually enjoys, but one that teenagers can totally do. You can make them responsible for the trash in their own room or bathroom. But you can also have them take out household trash every day or on a rotating basis.
take care of pets
Teenagers can be responsible for caring for family pets—not just the basic task of feeding them, but also taking on tasks like walking the dog, changing cat litter, or grooming the pet’s fur. English said the missions taught them commitment and compassion. “It also helps them develop a sense of responsibility because they are responsible for their pet’s well-being,” she said.
bottom line
Here’s the thing: Giving your kids these responsibilities doesn’t come without its challenges. Just because you say your children should do these things, doesn’t mean they will. Experts agree that despite this, you should stick to a routine, reward your children when they perform their duties, and gently guide them back into the routine if they go off track.
That said, you don’t have to manage this problem yourself. If you find it difficult to get your child to listen to you or complete simple, age-appropriate tasks, you can always seek advice from your health care provider or child therapist.