Mom sparks controversy after living in teen college dorm

Another day, another parent facing online haters. This time (like most times) the criticism parents received was unfounded.

Mom of three Lori Miggins shared a viral Instagram video in which she offered a piece of advice to parents of new college students: “New college moms, here’s a simple way to Your eldest son heads off to college…spend their first night with them!

Well, at first glance, this might not seem like the best idea, but there’s a very important context to consider here – one that completely changes the entire story, and one that a lot of people seem to miss. Plus, it’s another example of why parents can do what’s best for the family.

Viral Dorm Debate

As Meekins shared, her daughter was a college athlete, so she moved in quicker than most students (including her roommates). Roommates’ beds are available. Meekins used her own bedding and got permission from her daughter’s roommate to spend the night in the dormitory. On top of that, Meekins said her daughter wanted her to spend the night at her house.

“Also, when we looked at the calendar and saw that move-in day was my birthday, my daughter and I thought this would be a better idea,” Meekins said parents.

Look, I don’t like it when a college kid’s mom shows up in a crowded dorm room filled with freshmen trying to enjoy their first night on their own before classes start – but that’s clearly not what’s going on in this scene.

With that backstory in mind, I have to say: Is there something wrong with what Meekins did? What’s the problem for a mom who wants to make her child’s first night alone in a strange place feel more comfortable and create a fun memory during the move?

Unfortunately, many people online criticized the mom’s viral story.

“This is disgusting and weird. Have some boundaries. Say goodbye to your kids and cry in the car like everyone else. Let them live their lives. That’s what you make them do,” one commenter wrote road.

Another commenter said it made her “feel sick.”

Why this mom deserves praise

As a mother——and Someone who remembers how strange and overwhelming that first night away from home was – I don’t think there’s anything wrong, vulgar or inappropriate about this. I don’t see any mother doting on her child, flying helicopters over her, or overstepping boundaries.

I just watched a close mother and daughter figure out a fun way to celebrate an important occasion (and, presumably, make their daughter’s transition to college less scary).

“I would tell them to read this article. Because they clearly haven’t,” Meekins said of opponents. “We both wanted this. We were so close. It was just an innocent night that we could spend together, bond and enjoy each other’s company as she made the big transition to college life.

Of course, Meekins received more than just negative messages. She also saw a lot of support and kindness. Another parent did something similar and commented on the video: “We just moved my daughter in early to keep her happy. She was pretty much the only one in the dorm at night. Super scary in a new town and anxiety. My mom (her grandma) lives 30 minutes away and spent the night with her.

Meekins said she focused on the positive comments. “People tell me I’m a good mom, and people tell me they love the mother-daughter relationship we have,” Meekins said. “But most of all, I really love when people tell me that they’re doing the same thing because of my posts. Or they’re rekindling relationships, or making their relationships better.

Every family supports their children through transition differently

The transition from childhood to adulthood does not happen overnight, on a child’s 18th birthday. It’s ridiculous to expect parents to drastically change their approach to their child’s major transition just because they’ve reached this milestone.

I remember going into orientation the summer before college and just not feeling “well”—a little dizzy, a little nauseous, and unsteady. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I understand now that what I was experiencing was anxiety. Do you know what I did? Instead of spending orientation night in the dormitory with my classmates, I went to my mom’s hotel and stayed with her.

That’s all I needed at the time. If my children needed this type of support as they transitioned to college (or any other major life transition), I wish I could provide the same kind of support that my own mom and Meekins have shown.

While this may not be the right approach for every family, the reality is, yes There is no single right way.

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, psychologist and founder of Phoenix Health, agrees. “It’s important to remember that every child and every family dynamic is different—it’s best not to judge parents based on what they do,” Dr. Guannotta says. “It’s common for teenagers going off to college to experience difficulties being separated from their parents. The mother will most likely consider her daughter’s needs and make a decision that’s best for her.

Meekins agrees that every family should do what’s right for them, even if it means going against the norm.

“My situation is not a matter of letting go or holding on,” Meekins explains. “It’s simply a matter of spending more time together and helping her adapt, adjust and move into her room.”