Last updated on December 10, 2023 by Lori Pace
A recent Census report shows marriage and divorce rates are declining in every state. As slightly fewer women got married in 2021, the divorce rate dropped significantly, from 9.7 per 1,000 women (15 and over) 10 years ago to 6.9 per 1,000 women (15 and over).
The report did not explain the reasons for the decline in marriage rates, but experts found that marriage rates are declining in most countries, not just the United States. Some of the reasons include a search for independence, the security of living with family and the pervasive risk of infidelity, according to a study by University of Houston anthropologists.
Divorce expenses can also be a hindrance to a marriage. With the average cost estimated by Forbes to be between $15,000 and $20,000, it’s no surprise that some women are hesitant to get married. But if you’re stuck in a marriage that’s long overdue for divorce, there are ways to keep expenses more manageable.
mediate
Mediation differs from court litigation in many ways. First, this does not happen in court, which saves the couple court fees, although they may need to hire an attorney as a third party. And, the results often tend to be win-win.
Choosing a mediator or divorce attorney comes down to two things: the nature of your divorce and your budget. There are no court fees, and with the option of non-attorneys mediating your divorce, mediation is much cheaper. It also makes sense if the divorce involves children or can be completed quickly and more amicably.
However, mediation will not be effective if there is obvious animosity between the couple, such as a history of domestic violence or if the other spouse has retained a lawyer. In this case, you can expect the other side to stand firm and resolve the issue before a judge. Additionally, if you believe you are entitled to a majority of the marital estate, this approach is unlikely to achieve that result.
The mediator cannot provide legal advice to the parties, even if they are divorce attorneys. Doing so defeats their purpose of serving as neutral witnesses in the proceedings.
Try to separate
It’s not uncommon for women to choose divorce in a moment of anger or fear. But as cooler heads prevail, some people are finding that they’re not quite ready to part ways with their spouse, at least for the time being.
If you can’t decide but need some time, experts recommend trying a separation. This is an informal agreement between a couple that outlines the terms of a separation but not a full divorce.
A trial separation differs from a legal separation because it does not involve a court or an attorney. It sets out the couple’s responsibilities during separation until they are able to resolve their differences, if not decide whether to divorce. This cooling off period can help you make more rational choices when making decisions.
That said, a trial separation is not legally binding and therefore cannot be used to support your claims in court proceedings. Additionally, because they are still technically married, the couple has a claim to marital property, including property acquired during separation, such as lottery winnings.
Collaborative divorce
A little-known method of minimizing the costs of divorce is collaborative divorce, which is a cross between mediation and court litigation. The incident took place outside court, but it was not the couple but their respective legal advisers who spoke. While it requires attorney fees, they are less than what a lawsuit would cost.
A collaborative divorce allows the parties to continue to control the terms of the divorce rather than having them decided by a judge or a third party. It also promotes cooperation between parties (hence the term) as it aims to reach a solution that benefits both parties. What’s more, since the attorney is the witness, the agreement reached is legally binding.
Unfortunately, if this approach doesn’t work, you could lose a lot. Collaborative divorce usually requires both spouses to agree that, regardless of the outcome, neither party will pursue the matter in court. If they fail to do so, the participating attorneys have the right to refuse to represent them in court, necessitating the hiring of another attorney.
When a divorce goes to court
Some divorce cases end up in court, where a judge has the final say on the matter. However, you’re not out of cost-effective options. While there is little you can do to reduce court costs, there are two ways to reduce attorney fees.
The first is Limited Assistance Representation (LAR), in which the lawyer’s activities are limited to certain tasks, such as filing legal documents or representing you at certain hearings. Most attorneys are paid by the hour or through a retainer, so a LAR is a great way to reduce fees. However, remember that you will be responsible for other tasks.
Another way is through pro bono arrangements, where lawyers provide their services for free or at very low cost. Most professionals who provide these services typically come from nonprofit organizations, state bar associations, or legal clinics. The disadvantage is that pro bono services prioritize cases of significant public interest (such as civil rights).
in conclusion
It’s hard to overstate how costly divorce is, let alone how important it is to take it seriously. Whether you plan to settle out of court or in court, know that the actual costs will depend on a range of factors. As a general rule, it is best to exhaust all out-of-court solutions before resorting to judge arbitration.
