Last updated on May 1, 2024 by Kathy
Divorce, the death of a partner, an unplanned pregnancy, or personal choice may lead to you becoming a single mother. While it’s a rewarding journey, it comes with its own set of unique challenges. But you may still want to expand your family through surrogacy.
You can combine single motherhood and surrogacy gracefully with the right knowledge and insights. This guide provides actionable tips to help you overcome the typical challenges of this fusion and find harmony in both characters.
Learn about the journey ahead
Surrogacy is not always a walk in the park. The first step is to choose the right agent. But it’s not just about choice. It helps to understand her experience of being a surrogate mother so that you can treat her correctly.
Once you have chosen the person who is willing to bear your child, you both must undergo rigorous medical examinations to determine suitability. This is often an emotional stretch, filled with anxiety, excitement, and uncertainty.
Being a single mother adds a twist to the plot. Typically, a marriage partner helps you make decisions, but being single means you have to make decisions alone. Still, a professional can guide you in doing the right things and avoiding common pitfalls.
Equipping yourself with knowledge is non-negotiable. Research each stage of surrogacy so you have a firm grasp of what is expected of you. Read books, visit online websites and platforms dedicated to surrogacy, and chat with friends who have been through the surrogacy journey before. Being informed will help you feel more in control and more confident in your decisions.
Build a support network
Friends and family provide a shoulder to lean on during this emotional journey. They are the ones who open their hearts to them in happy or sad times. They identify with your struggles and can listen with empathy to what you are going through. Therefore, do not consider surrogacy alone.
Another great option is to join a surrogacy-focused support group. These often include people who have tried surrogacy before or are currently trying. You can learn a lot from their experiences, allowing you to avoid pitfalls that could negatively impact your life. You will also celebrate milestones together. This sense of belonging makes the journey more manageable.
Manage time wisely
Juggling single motherhood and surrogacy takes time. But you can do this through effective time management. You’ll find that every other week there are important events that require your attention. Plan your week ahead of time. Schedule specific time slots for surrogacy tasks and maternal duties. These include doctor’s appointments, parent-teacher conferences, kids’ play dates, support group meetings, prenatal classes and routine well-child checkups. This way, you can satisfy the needs of both parties without overlooking either.
Consider using digital tools to organize your schedule. They are better than paper plans because they eliminate the errors of double planning. You can also set reminders to know what you should do on specific days and times.
Prioritize emotional health
Surrogacy is characterized by feelings of excitement mixed with doubt, anticipation, uncertainty, gratitude, impatience, elation, and worry. Such complex combinations can quickly overwhelm you. Therefore, it is crucial to prioritize your emotional health.
Seeking counseling is a great place to start. A professional lets you talk about your feelings and helps you develop coping strategies.
Next, incorporate meditation into your daily life. Practices such as mindful breathing, guided visualization, observing body sensations from head to toe, repeating mantras, and sending positive wishes to yourself will bring calm in chaotic moments.
In addition to meditation, activities such as journaling, physical training, and hobbies can also help you manage your emotions.
Plan your finances
Surrogacy incurs expenses such as medical examinations, legal, agency, psychological screening and counseling, travel and accommodation expenses, insurance and surrogacy compensation. Understanding these costs is the first step to effective planning.
List all expected costs for the entire period of surrogacy. Determine what portion of your savings will be used to fund the business and how much money you can set aside each month for surrogacy. Track your spending so you don’t go over your budget. It can also help you identify areas where you can save cash.
You will need to seek financial support from organizations that help with surrogacy efforts. Research online and ask local questions to identify such financing opportunities. Proactively planning your finances ensures you don’t get into unnecessary stress along the way.
Introducing surrogacy to your older children
If your child is old enough to grasp the basic concepts of surrogacy, introducing the topic wisely will help. You don’t want to shock them with a new baby without them seeing you pregnant, as moms are expected to. Children are naturally curious and will bombard you with a million questions. Answer them using age-appropriate language. Something like “Mrs.” Lily helped us bring a new baby into our home, which is what can be expected with a young child. For teens and up, it doesn’t hurt to know the finer details.
Also, share important updates on your journey with them. You can inform them of your surrogate choice, ultrasound results or the arrival of your baby. Also, include them in choosing baby items and decorating the nursery. They will feel valued and provide you with the support you need.
in conclusion
Combining single motherhood and surrogacy is the true definition of strength and resilience. This journey has unique obstacles, but you can always manage them with the necessary expertise. Take advantage of the insights outlined in this article. Don’t forget to seek expert advice. There are many professionals you can turn to for guidance on every detail of your journey. Eventually, you will be happy and raise them with other children.
