Last updated on January 19, 2024 by Lori Pace
Being separated from someone with whom you share life experiences can be painful. When this happens, people often experience a range of emotions, from depression and anxiety to loneliness, anger, denial and social withdrawal.
These feelings can lead to other problems, such as difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, and mood swings. Things can become more challenging if there are disagreements over child custody, asset division, and other marital issues.
The good news is that there are ways to ensure that you make a decision that is good for you, your children, and your future co-parenting relationship. In this guide, we’ll share some practical tips on what to do when your spouse abandons you.
1. Understand the legal procedures of divorce
Maybe you and your ex will get back together after things calm down. Or you’ve been through a breakup and are already considering divorce.
In either case, knowledge is power. Understanding the legal process of divorce can help you straighten things out and speed up the divorce process. If you are not a divorce attorney, you will need to hire one to guide you through the process.
A divorce attorney will guide you through the legal process of divorce and ensure that your interests are protected. Divorce laws can be complex and vary from state to state, and understanding them is critical to making informed decisions during this difficult time.
2. Talk to your kids
Of all the things you must consider before separating, the decisions you make for your children are crucial. Your children will be greatly affected by the separation.
It is best for you to discuss the separation with them and be prepared to provide them with some answers. They need to know if they will be able to see the other parent, for how long and if they will be allowed to visit.
As you and your partner prepare to discuss separation or divorce with your children, here are some tips to keep in mind.
- Be honest and clearly understand the circumstances of the separation
- Develop a narrative that does not place the blame on one parent
- Plan what you’re going to say ahead of time so you both are on the same side
You need to be clear about whether separation will lead to divorce so that you don’t hold out hope for a future reconciliation.
3. Arrange child custody
During a separation, it is vital to make arrangements for the future and well-being of your children. You need to calculate where the children will live and how much time they will spend with the other parent. You will also need to consider access arrangements, childcare, birthdays, visits with in-laws and holiday arrangements.
Therefore, a joint custody arrangement is considered to be in the best interest of the child’s well-being. However, in some cases, especially where abuse or addiction is the reason for separation, it may be in the best interest to live under the full custody of one parent. Read this guide to learn how to obtain full custody and how it works.
4. Review your assets and financial situation
Part of what you’ll do after separation will involve separating your finances, especially if you have joint accounts, and dividing your assets.
If separation leads to divorce, you will need to disclose all assets. Hiding assets during a divorce constitutes contempt of court and may result in sanctions and legal fees.
Separating assets and finances can be a lengthy process, but starting early can help avoid conflicts and other problems. You can first close the shared bank account and transfer the funds to your personal account.
Next, make a list of all the assets you both have to deal with, even those overseas, and decide which ones you want to keep. Your attorney can help you through this process and guide you on the steps to take if both parties agree to resolve the matter in court.
5. Prioritize self-care
Separation is a painful process that often evokes mixed feelings and emotions. Being angry, feeling alone, frustrated, and confused are some of the feelings you may experience during this time.
The healing process can be long, and it’s easy to lose sight of yourself. Therefore, it is crucial to prioritize self-care.
Make sure you eat healthy, exercise and socialize with friends. Talk to someone you trust. If possible, seek help from a counselor or professional with whom you can develop a healing and trusting relationship. No matter how you feel about the separation, force yourself to face your emotions and train your mind to stay positive.
Summarize
Separation and divorce are among the most painful experiences a person can face. If you have recently separated from your partner, you will want to make decisions that will benefit you and ensure the well-being of your children.
A lawyer can help advise you on your future prospects and whether you should consider divorce. They can also help ensure that your interests are protected in a divorce.
