Father’s Day is a heartwarming time for families, especially when dad is not actively present. But just because things are different doesn’t mean the day has to be difficult or uncomfortable. Even if your ex no longer plays his role after the divorce, you are far from the only one who made the day meaningful. There are some simple and heartfelt ways to enjoy the moment that can fill the day with joy instead of sadness. Don’t worry, Mom—I’ve rounded up some simple, uplifting ideas that can help you and your kids create special memories this Father’s Day without any feelings of loss or sadness.
Further reading: Books to help children cope with an absent father.
How to deal with Father’s Day when your father is not around
Understand your child’s emotions
Father’s Day can be difficult for children who don’t have their dad around. Whether he’s just physically absent or emotionally distant, this day may make that absence even more prominent. Your child may feel sad, confused, or even angry.
It’s important to remind them that no matter how they feel, it’s totally okay. Talking about it can really help them resolve any issues. You can say something like, “I know it’s hard not having your dad around today. It’s okay to feel sad or angry about it.” Letting them know their emotions are valid can help them get through the day.
A different Father’s Day celebration
Just because your child’s biological father isn’t around doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Father’s Day. It might just look a little different. One idea is to celebrate the other important men in your child’s life. Whether it’s an uncle, grandpa, or family and friends who are always there for you, these relationships are equally meaningful.
You can plan a small get-together or do something special with these father figures. It helps your children see that even if their biological father is no longer around, they still have someone who loves and supports them.
Further reading: Find positive male role models for your children.
Memories of good times
Father’s Day can also be a time to reflect on the good times, if any. If your children’s father has been a part of their lives, it may be comforting to talk about those good times. Look through old photos together or share happy stories. It keeps their father’s memory fresh and oblivious to his shortcomings.
But if past relationships were rocky or painful, be wary of these conversations. You might focus more on the idea that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s okay to feel hurt. Let your children know that their father’s absence is not their fault and that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about it.
Extended reading: Where is Dad? Explaining the Absent Father.
Handle school events and social situations
Around Father’s Day, school activities can be difficult without your dad. Making Father’s Day cards or hosting father-son activities at school can be a clear reminder that their dad is not around. It’s best to prepare your children in advance and help them better understand these situations.
Have honest conversations with them before these events. You could say, “I know it’s hard when everyone else is making things for their dads. But we can find another way to celebrate that works for us. You could plan something fun to do together after school, Or helping them create a card for a different male role model in their life can also be helpful. Most teachers will understand and may offer an alternative activity.
Keep Mom’s Pep Talk Going
Father’s Day is a great time to have an in-depth discussion with your kids about their dad. They may have questions or just want to talk more about why their dad isn’t around. It’s important to be honest, but also keep things age-appropriate.
If they ask why their dad isn’t here, you can say something like, “I don’t know all the reasons, but the important thing is that you have people who love you very much.” This can help put their mind at ease even if they don’t have all the answers.
It’s also helpful to let them know they’re not the only one going through this. You can share stories of other children who grew up without a father and are doing just fine. This can show them that although it is difficult, it does not define who they are or what they can achieve.
Create new traditions
One way to make Father’s Day easier is to create new traditions that are about your family and the things you enjoy doing together. This can be anything from a special outing to a relaxing day at home doing your favorite activities. Our goal is to create positive memories around Father’s Day that are not associated with dad’s absence. This will make Father’s Day a day your children look forward to instead of dreading.
Further reading: Father’s Day, here are some ways to help your kids if dad isn’t around.
What about stepparents and new relationships?
If you’re in a new relationship and have a stepparent, Father’s Day might be a good time to honor the new family. Let your children know that it’s okay to celebrate the father figures in their lives, such as a stepfather, uncle, or grandfather.
But make sure you pay attention to their emotions about their dad. They may feel conflicted about respecting someone else for their father. Keep the lines of communication open, you might say something like, “It’s okay to miss your dad but still appreciate the people who are around you now.”
Summary: How to spend Father’s Day with an absent dad
It’s not easy to celebrate Father’s Day without your dad, but it doesn’t have to be a sad day. I find that a little creativity and a lot of love can turn it into a joyful celebration for everyone. No matter what you plan to do, you have the power to make the day meaningful for your child. By doing this, you show them that while their father’s absence is a part of their lives, it does not define who they are or what their future will look like.
Remember, no matter how upset you are about their father’s disappearance, never speak negatively about the absent parent (at least in front of your children). After all, he is still the father of your child. Mom, you have done a great job. This Father’s Day, take a moment to recognize that you are more than just a mother. You are everything your child needs to grow even if their father is not around.
