A new parenting trend on TikTok begs the question: Is homework optional? That seems to be the case for some parents, as some moms and dads have come forward to declare that they are no Let their children do their homework when they get home from school.
After an emotional homework session, one mom decided all the fights and tears weren’t worth it, noting that she emailed her son’s teacher to tell him he wouldn’t be doing homework this year.
“For any parents who may not know this, I just recently learned that you can actually choose not to give your kids homework,” Arizona mom @cayleyxox said in her now-viral TikTok.
For context, her son went to a charter school, so this “opt-out” message may not apply to everyone.
“I didn’t know this until recently, and I just sent a cute little email to my son’s kindergarten teacher saying, ‘I’m sorry based on the stress, mental and physical pain it’s caused my child. Anxiety, we’re done. We’re no longer opting out for the rest of the year.
She then shared the moment she decided to make this change.
“The first week of school…he got this package. It’s from August. It doesn’t look that bad, but it’s about 15 to 20 pages on both sides. You do the math. We’ve been working on it and doing the best we can. He could, but it put a huge amount of mental and physical stress on him,” she shared.
“I sat him down this morning. I felt really guilty about it. We sat down and I told him, ‘You can’t even watch the show this morning. You can’t do anything. You’re sitting here eating breakfast and reading There’s going to be radio silence for at least a page or two. It’s too much work for him. It’s an emotional mess.
She attributed the homework stress to her son’s sudden lack of interest in school.
“I feel so guilty sending him to school. He doesn’t want to be there. In the last two weeks he’s told me he doesn’t even like school and doesn’t want to go there anymore, which hurts my mom’s heart because you’re only five . Five. You were in kindergarten. The only thing you should worry about is studying and when snack time is,” she said.
Kelly wonders what kind of message asking her children to do homework actually sends, noting that she wants to teach her children to “work to live, not live to work.”
“What do we teach our kids? What do we teach them? That, ‘Oh, yeah, here you go. You’re going to go to work, you’re going to get paid, but if you don’t get the job done in the eight to 10 hours Monday through Friday , that’s okay too. You get to take the work home and do it on your own time.
“No… not here. That’s not how we teach our children. Work to live. We don’t live to work… In this home, we’ve done our homework. I want my child to love school. I want him to Love learning. I want him to have fun with it…”
The TikTok mom had mixed reactions. Some users agreed with her, while others believed she was teaching her children to be empowered.
“I heard this but then thought, 50% of people in America only read at a 7th grade level,” one user wrote.
“I might find some strategies to motivate him to do his homework. Positive incentives, goals, make it a game. Use fun pens, etc.
Another netizen pointed out, “I have to play devil’s advocate, as a teacher mom who also hates homework because we are so busy with extracurricular activities! Sometimes, the issue is no longer ‘they need to do homework,’ but more Much about “Sitting with your kids, reading to/with them, learning spelling words, or doing some math problems? ” Show them that you are interested in what they are learning and I guarantee the benefits will multiply!!
OP replied: “That’s a good point, personally I’m just ranting on the internet, I respect his teacher and what she does because she feels best and will never speak, but things will work out as needed Revise”
Some TikTok users wanted an update, asking how her son’s teacher responded to her email about boycotting the assignment. Things didn’t go well.
Kelly discussed the email with the teacher during a face-to-face interaction at school pick-up.
According to Kelly, her son’s teacher noted that she had never received complaints about homework, but responded that she was not complaining but “addressing a situation that no longer worked for their family.”
They had back-and-forth discussions with teachers about workload, trying to negotiate how much work their children could do. Instead of backing down, the OP chose to keep a reading log for 15-20 minutes each night.
“No more damn packets happening in this house. That’s for sure,” she concluded.
Kelly isn’t alone in thinking this way. In addition to the hundreds of moms who took to the comments section to support her, another mom on TikTok also shared that her child can’t do her homework.
TikTok mom (@phillybee12) also shared that she won’t make her kids do their homework if they’re doing well in school.
“We don’t do homework. Yesterday…I got a call [my daughter’s] teacher. She called me to tell me how my daughter was doing in class last week and told me that her grades were great. I said, “Well, I just want you to know that when we’re on the phone, we don’t do our homework.” And just then the three other women in the observation room turned and looked at me,” she mimicked With confused eyes.
“It’s like I’m some kind of psycho because I don’t do my homework. Well, as long as the grades are good, we don’t do the homework. They’re in school for seven hours. I don’t let them go home and do their homework. They Go play sports. They sit at home with us. They play on their phones. Whatever it is, it’s not a homework family. A homeworker?
Is homework optional? Or are parents developing an entitlement mentality in their children?
