Why is “hurried child syndrome” so prevalent?

You may remember Alex P. Keaton as a teenager eager to grow up and conquer the world, as Michael J. Fox did in the ’80s sitcom act like that family ties. Recent examples of children who appear to have grown up prematurely include Manny Delgado modern family There’s even 1-year-old Stewie Griffin family guy.

While these depictions are funny and fictional, they highlight a real problem in our society where children are asked to behave more like little adults and less like children. Many times, it is parents who push their children to achieve beyond their years, although we may not even know that we are putting pressure on the people we love most.

There’s a name for this phenomenon: “rushed kid syndrome,” and parents are taking to TikTok to raise concerns. Research shows it can lead to depression, anxiety and poor academic performance in children. Sanam Hafeez, a New York City neuropsychologist, PhD in psychiatry and director of Understanding the Mind, says it’s actually an “epidemic.”

The meaning of “hurried child syndrome”

Rushed Childhood Syndrome is when children are rushed through childhood and forced to behave beyond their maturity.

“Children are forced to grow up prematurely and take on the worries, responsibilities and pressures of adult life,” Dr. Hafeez said. This happens in all areas of their lives, including school, extracurricular activities and sports, and even social life.

Thomas Priolo, MD, a psychiatrist at Jersey Shore University Medical Center, tells us parents Examples of “rushed child syndrome” may include coaching children beyond their age level, parents oversharing marital or financial problems with their children, excessive focus on winning or competition, and expectations of constant discipline.

The term “rushed child syndrome” was coined by American child psychologist Dr. David Elkind in the 1980s, but the phenomenon existed in some form long before that.

As Dr. Hafez points out, there have been instances throughout history where children have been forced to take on very adult responsibilities, such as during wars.

“Modern versions of this syndrome may be more structured and stressful due to competitive education systems and demands for social success,” Dr. Hafez said.

‘Hurry Child Syndrome’ may start early in life

According to Dr. Hafeez, children as early as preschool (and sometimes even younger) exhibit characteristics of “rushed child syndrome.” “Some parents have signed up their young children for several courses – from language classes to physical education – and they think it’s advisable to get a head start,” she said.

But by emphasizing early achievement and laying the foundation for future success, parents may be doing their children a disservice. Young children may experience stress and burnout when they should be focusing on developing social and emotional skills, especially pretend play.

“Parents may have the best intentions and the goal of raising a great child, but sometimes these demands can backfire and negatively impact the child’s growth and development,” agrees Dr. Priolo.

Parents should take comfort in the fact that many of us don’t want to force our children to grow up too fast. There is also a lot of pressure on mums, dads and caregivers to provide our children with every advantage in life.

Causes of “Hurry Child Syndrome”

Our job is to provide the best possible life for our children. This means helping them succeed in school, sports, socialization and future endeavors. But sometimes, parents accidentally take things too far.

“While we may understand the need to ‘kids be kids,’ our own unconscious anxieties lead us to adopt harsher parenting styles,” says Dr. Priolo.

This may seem like too much structure and pressure, Dr. Hafeez said, adding, “Some external forces conspire against parents’ efforts to prevent ‘rushed kid syndrome,’ which leads them to inadvertently fast-track their children.” .

From increasing competition in education to social media making people more aware of what their peers are doing, a sense of urgency can plague parents and make them feel like they’re not doing enough.

“Cultural norms that emphasize achievement and success may lead parents to believe that a lack of early success will hinder their children’s future opportunities,” Dr. Hafeez said.

Dr. Hafeez noted that there are many more factors at play, and financial pressures may lead parents to seek structured activities as child care options.

The bottom line, says Dr. Hafeez, is that “these external pressures create a high-stress situation for parents that they can’t escape, and they often don’t realize the emotional toll it takes on their children.”

How to avoid “rushed child syndrome”

For Dr. Priolo, avoiding “rushed child syndrome” is all about providing children with a supportive and nurturing environment where downtime is valued, their feelings are validated, and mistakes are allowed to happen. “The main factor in a child’s success has always revolved around a supportive environment consisting of age-appropriate requirements,” he said.

To this end, young, developing brains will benefit greatly from unstructured playtime rather than structured activities Monday through Saturday. “While parents may feel like this is ‘nothing to do,’ this time allows the child a safe environment to absorb, process, and apply new information,” Dr. Priolo shares.

At the same time, reducing your child’s exposure to technology is another way to encourage free play and exploration. “Social scientists have found that children who are allowed to experience the world in this way develop greater emotional resilience and are better able to solve problems,” Dr. Hafiz said.

Allowing children to choose to pursue their own interests is also key. At the appropriate age, children should set goals that are meaningful to them, and parents should support them, Dr. Priolo said. “It’s important that parents express appreciation and provide positive affirmation even when mistakes or failures occur,” he said.

Dr. Hafeez emphasized that a child’s self-worth should not be based solely on academics and achievements. Ultimately, she said, when parents model a healthy work/life balance, “they show their children that making mistakes and experiencing life’s simple joys are important components of a happy and fulfilling life.”

“Hurry Child Syndrome” Warning Signs

Even the most well-intentioned parents can fall into the trap of letting their children go too far, too fast. Here are some signs your child is growing up stressed out:

• increased stress or anxiety
• lost game time
• Burnout
• social stress or separation anxiety
• poor self-esteem
• Have perfectionistic tendencies
• Refusing or boycotting school
• frustrated
• fatigue
• memory loss or difficulty concentrating
• Worrying excessively about an upcoming performance, sporting event, or test
• ADHD
• physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomachaches

“Children may have difficulty reporting these symptoms,” Dr. Priolo said, adding that parents should observe and monitor these symptoms closely.

“Recognizing these signs early can help parents slow down and reduce risk,” advises Dr. Hafeez.