My daughter has a boy friend who is the cutest kid in the world. He is kind, attentive, sensitive, sincere and understanding.
When boys are young, they are always sweet. They pick flowers for their mother. They have a kind of tenderness. Then toxic masculinity sets in and they become disconnected from their emotions. Or rather, according to one mother, they only retain and express one Especially emotions.
“See these boys? These are our boys. “We decided not to raise strong boys. “
“I may sound crazy, but when you ask your kids to be strong, or you tell them to be strong, what you’re teaching them is how to mask their true emotion of feeling strong.”
She went on to say that when we teach little boys to be “tough” and absorb their emotions, we are actually helping them internalize those emotions. This encouragement to suppress any emotion actually re-transforms itself into a single emotion – anger.
Enter toxic masculinity.
“These strong little boys grow up to express only one emotion. That emotion is anger, because their feelings are like beach balls underwater, and when boundaries are finally broken, it comes out in the form of tantrums— — throwing things, yelling,” she continued, before explaining that she and her husband taught their son how to express feelings and have emotions.
“…what we teach our children is to feel deeply and allow ourselves to feel those feelings, and even the negative emotions we experience as humans can protect us. For example, if my son comes home After finding out he was left out, I wouldn’t say “get over it” or “toughen up”. What I’m trying to say is, ‘Hey, this is really bad. I know exactly what that feels like and it really hurts.
“By allowing themselves to feel these things, they are able to develop deeper empathy in other situations where they might see someone excluded. But when we say things like ‘get over it’ or ‘toughen up’ , you are telling them that these feelings are invalid, and then they are unable to see these feelings as valid feelings for other people.
Hamilton says boys (or anyone, for that matter) who suppress their emotions from a young age don’t know how to feel empathy for others, resulting in “selfish, narcissistic men unable to see other people’s emotions as valid.”
“I never grew up in a household where my dad yelled or threw things, but my husband did. I’m so grateful that he was able to kneel in front of our little boys when they felt something big and To be able to empathize with them. No, I don’t think it’s necessary or helpful to put my kids in a bad environment to train them,” Hamilton concluded.
It’s up to the parents of this generation of boys to break down the trauma of the patriarchy. We need to instill the idea that feelings and emotions are valid and normal. We need to teach our children that it’s okay to cry, to be hurt, and to be sad. It is possible to raise a sensitive yet strong boy. Look at the Kells brothers!
