When I first saw Ceci Kane’s videos on Instagram, she was recreating scenes typical of one of the web’s richest sources of drama: Facebook mom groups. What millennial mom hasn’t stumbled upon a heated debate about breastfeeding on Facebook, or a Reddit row about baby-led weaning, or even a particularly spicy TikTok comments section about something you never thought would be controversial thing? This is just part of life as a mother in the age of social media. You have to laugh about it…or you’ll get sucked into the drama. Kane excels at recreating that drama.
Kane has brought her eye for the ridiculous to a thriving platform @kanececi and expanded into all areas of mom humor. I recently had the opportunity to learn more about her life. We chatted about the chaotic glory of the Buy Nothing group, the topics that are sure to send the Facebook comments section into a frenzy, and her favorite topics friends Bit.
Horrible Mom: Tell me something about yourself.
This Kane: I’m in Michigan, I have two kids and my husband, and we have a dog. I’m a stay-at-home mom; I’m a full-time interior designer.
SM: What stage of parenting are you at?
CK: My kids, one of them is almost seven and my youngest is three and a half. So we’re slowly starting to exit the toddler stage, but it’s still crazy. Instead of the wild days of early childhood, it’s now a crazy busy schedule of sports and extracurricular activities. It’s just a whole different ball game. To accommodate this, some adjustments need to be made. I expected things to slow down, and they did, but they also accelerated in different ways, so it was an interesting change.
SM: Yeah, I feel like I spend a lot less time wiping my ass and a lot more time frantically getting from one place to another.
CK: Yes, absolutely. It’s really fun to get used to that because early childhood is crazy, but it’s slow in its own way because you’re just floating around. You’re not worried about going to dance and going to school and doing all these things. It’s like, “Let’s go to the park. Take you to daycare.” It’s very slow in that regard. But I was excited because my daughter was going through a very severe tantrum phase that my son and I had never experienced. My son is calm, he has always been calm, easy-going and flexible. When we had our daughter, it was like becoming parents for the first time.
We were a little arrogant and thought we knew what we were doing since we were first time parents, but it didn’t matter. They’re just complete opposites. I don’t even know what to do when our daughter throws a tantrum. So it’s great that we’re starting to get out of that. She still has her moments, but glad it’s more than just constant tantrums.
SM: How did you get started with social media?
CK: I started a new job working remotely, so I’ve been at home. I downloaded TikTok and I thought it was really fun to scroll. I lurked for a year or two. In 2022, I just started hanging around. If I have a little down time, it’s a good creative outlet, which is fun because I have a job where I can be creative, but it’s a different type of creativity.
It’s just for me, just for fun. I really don’t care. It felt really awkward at the time. Then I randomly posted a video because I didn’t actually start in the parenting world. I have a very niche corner of the internet talking about… You know those “don’t buy stuff” groups on Facebook?
SM: Oh my gosh, I could take you around this house and show you all the goodies I got from Buying Nothing.
CK: It was eight o’clock at night and I just saw a random bowl on my table, so I did something about the “Buy Nothing” group and how weird their comments were. That stuff went semi-viral. I then started making other videos about the Buy Nothing group in the comments section and it was really successful.
Then I decided, “If I want to keep doing this, I don’t know if I want to be the lady who buys nothing.” I wanted to explore other things where I could be creative, like other cores of the web. That’s when I started a spin-off project, which was basically a Facebook moms group. That’s when my account went crazy. That’s when I started to really gain a following.
It’s essentially the same thing, same format video, talking about Facebook mom groups and how crazy they are and the comments and stuff. My account took off from there and that’s when I really started to spiral more into the parenting world. I branched out a bit and made other short plays and other videos. That’s how it all comes together. It felt like it actually fell into my lap, but I ran with it a little bit.
SM: I was in a group chat with two other friends and most of the group chat went something like, “Have you seen anyone try to give this away on Buy Nothing? It’s like old food.
CK: Yes. I had a lot of fun doing this. Every once in a while, I might do it again, but I don’t do it much anymore. It was a great and fun time for me, at least during my content creation phase. It was still early, so I wasn’t worried about the lights or the pressure. It was super unplanned, random, improvised.
It’s a little harder now. I feel like for me, I don’t know about people, but I’ve only been able to do random things before. Almost everything I do is improvised, and now I have to think about it a little more. But I’m trying to get back to that random, improvisational state and not put too much pressure on myself to create content.
SM: What does your process look like these days? Do you have a small studio nook in your home?
CK: Well, since I work from home, I can use my entire house as my studio. So my tripod, lights and everything, everything is in the house all the time. I try to keep my emotions in check, but I’m really bad at it. I have a notes app that contains miles of ideas. I haven’t executed that much yet because a lot of it needs more production or whatever. But it’s funny to look back and be like, “Oh yeah, I forgot I was going to make a reel about this. I should have done this.” So it’s like, if I ever get into creative funk, I feel like I want to post something, But I don’t know what, if I wasn’t really feeling it, I’d go to that notes app for inspiration.
SM: How does your family feel about the whole thing?
CK: They were very supportive from the beginning. Now my son will say, “Mom, are you filming?” He’s more aware now than he was two years ago. He always asks me, “Can I be in this?” I don’t show my content to my kids. I rarely, rarely show them with their faces or backs blurred because they really want to be included, but I also try to protect their privacy. But they’ve been very supportive.
I didn’t tell my dad I was doing this. My mom has always supported me from the beginning, but I never told my dad about it until I started posting about it a year later today show and that kind of stuff. That’s when my dad was like, “Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?” I was like, “I thought you were going to think this was stupid. I didn’t know.” He’s also a very creative and musical person , but we can have many different views on things. But now he tells everyone. When people ask, “Oh, what does your daughter do?” he tells them I’m a content creator. He didn’t even mention my full-time job. He has been very supportive.
SM: That’s funny. In your experience, what are the most popular topics in Facebook mom groups? What’s causing this mess in the comments section?
CK: Circumcision, pacifiers, breastfeeding vs bottle feeding – these are probably the top three. Others might be Tylenol or medications or vaccines. The baby then takes the lead in weaning or feeding. These are probably the most important ones that people will go crazy over. In many of the groups I’ve been in before, some of the topics were banned because people were there to attack each other. Sometimes it’s like watching a dumpster fire.
When you get into it, it becomes this weird cult thing—especially when you’re a new mom and you’re just postpartum and you’re getting all these different opinions from all these different people. Like I was looking back on the breastfeeding page and I was like, “Man, am I one of those people?” I tried to be helpful, but now I feel like maybe people sensed it in a way that I didn’t mean A little, but that’s definitely how I feel when people respond to me. It’s like you’re going crazy.
You can be helpful and offer good advice or helpful advice or just words of solidarity, but I feel like you also have to be careful not to clutter, because clutter is what attracts people.
Oh, and the other one is a car seat. This is the first time I’ve gone crazy. You might be talking about something that has nothing to do with car seats at all, but there’s a picture of your kid in a car seat and people are just honing in on the car seat and people might get these really snarky comments Responses and suggestions. While that’s fine because we want the baby to be safe, some people’s births can be crazy. If 200 people have already said, “This is what you did wrong,” and you say, “This is what you did wrong,” — you’re not adding anything to the conversation.
SM: So what do you do to relax? Are you a TV fan?
CK: I am a binge watcher of television. My current show, well, I did watch it. The Good Girl’s Guide to Murderwhich is really good. But now I’ve done a lot of comfort shows. My two top choices are ster creek and friends. So I just listen to those on repeat until I find a series or something I’m looking forward to watching, then I’ll binge, and then I’ll go back to my comfort shows until something else comes along that interests me.
SM: what do you like best friends episode?
CK: OMG. There are so many. Wow. It’s almost like that’s my favorite part of it, rather than the whole episode. In the episode Self-Defense, Phoebe and Rachel jump out from behind a curtain to scare Ross as he tries to tell them that they know nothing about self-defense. I like that. My husband chimed in and said that Joey doesn’t share food because his date always eats what’s on his plate. I don’t share food either.
SM: A real parenting challenge, being able to eat your own damn food.
CK: I hate sharing my food with my kids because they only want my food. I always have to hide in corners and stuff like that. I have a spot in my kitchen where if I crouch down they can’t see me. So I would sit in the corner and have a snack.
SM: What does your Instagram look like? Who do you follow? Who do you recommend?
CK: I have so many. I really like Sean Szepps. Anna Lee, love her. I really like Janelle, @MillennialMatLeave. She does childcare, and a lot of her work has to do with the mother-in-law relationship. This is really refreshing. I actually have a great relationship with my mother-in-law, but I love her account because of a lot of the tools she uses and the conversations she has that I feel like can be had with anyone who has a problem in your life. Janelle’s content is really helpful for dealing with toxic people. So I really enjoyed following her, I don’t know, even just for the solidarity. Gwenna Lesland — @MommaCusses.
I just like people who can keep it real, be cool, and not come across like they’re just trying to make content. It feels like they are who they are. I really like people who are unapologetically themselves.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
