It’s that moment in all of our lives as parents: You’re walking down the aisle at Target, Walmart, or Halloween, and your kid goes back and forth checking out all the costumes. Then all of a sudden, you pass their usual area and end up in that absolutely terrifying corner. There’s a ghost-faced glitter mask complete with skirt and bloody knife, 10 different killer clowns, the irresistible smell of latex masks, and – shocker – a set of chin-dangling orders. Clothing that people hate. This is the one your child drags back to the shopping cart. So, when is it okay to let your kids dress up in scary costumes?
First, before you head to the store, you need to know where you stand with your horror costume. Are you interested in horror in general? Monsters like bloody zombies or werewolves? certainly. Killer or dead man? Maybe this is where you draw the line. Before your child shows you the costume they’ve grabbed, give it a little thought. It’s also perfectly okay to say no to scary costumes ahead of time if you can’t stomach them just yet.
“Parents must have a clear understanding of their own values and beliefs and communicate those values and beliefs to their children in developmentally appropriate ways,” said Nashdra Barry, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist at the Irish Center for Children’s Behavioral Health Clinic in Alabama. , this is important. “If the scary costume doesn’t fit with your family’s values—whether for religious, cultural, or other reasons—then it’s perfectly reasonable to encourage wearing more appropriate clothing or opting out altogether. The key is to Be proactive.”
What if your main concern is that your child is too young to dress in a scary way – will this be traumatic for them or something else? – Maybe wait another year or two. One mom on Reddit shared that her 5-year-old found a Ghostface costume in a store and bought it for him, but she didn’t like his interest in playing with the knife accessories. In the comments, parents were divided: Some said it’s fun to pretend to be the bad guy sometimes, while others enacted a blanket “no scary costumes” rule at home.
Young children still see the world through “magical thinking,” Barry explains, making it difficult for them to distinguish between fiction and reality. This phenomenon tends to start to fade away around age 10, so your safest bet is to say no to scary costumes before then (of course, you may still see scary stuff in stores or on Halloween night).
“Each child varies in their ability to tolerate certain costumes or content, and parents are often in the best position to determine what their child can handle. If your child still has difficulty distinguishing between what is real and what is imagined, or if they have For historical trauma like this, it’s best to choose fun or cute costumes,” Barry said. But chances are, if your kids want this costume, they won’t be intimidated. Let them be a little terror if they want to.
Ultimately, you’re not a bad mom if you let your kids dress up like Michael Myers, and you’re not a bad mom if you refuse to let them down. The most important thing, Barry says, is to allow your children to enjoy the holidays in a way that’s fun, safe and “consistent with your family values.”
If you’re worried that your child will be deeply affected in some way by dressing up as something scary, or simply seeing other scary costumes on Halloween night, don’t worry. “Remember, no matter what choices you make, an otherwise well-adjusted child is unlikely to suffer any lasting trauma from Halloween celebrations,” says Barry. If you’re primarily just worried about what your mother-in-law will think, remind her, Every year countless children dress up as scary creatures and characters and totally get used to it.
So, either say yes or say no; there is no right answer. It depends on your child, your beliefs, your taste for scary things, and the costume your child is actively begging for. Because let’s face it: vampires with bloody fangs are a thing. Spandex suit, whatever the rake is? Tough to get through, kid. The PAW Patrol jumpsuit is just that.