Family life isn’t for everyone…perhaps, more of us should accept that before we continue to choose it. At least that’s what TikTok user @BooksBeWild wants us to think.
The account recently shared a clip from content creator Janie Ippolito, who posts “relevant married life” content with her husband Dave as @daveandjanie. In the film, Jenny films her husband telling the story of their upcoming trip to the pumpkin patch. They had at least one child present, who could briefly be seen sitting in a car seat.
“Am I excited to go to the pumpkin patch? Oh, Jane. I am so So excited to go to the pumpkin patch,” he said sarcastically. “Spending 700 percent of the money on a damn pumpkin that I could buy for $6 at the grocery store…and then we’re walking around listening to kids whining and moaning for two hours.”
It looks interesting and I’m sure a lot of us can relate to it on some level. (Ask me about my family taking a break from going to Mardi Gras with our 10-year-old…) But at the same time it also feels a little gross, at least without any other context. @BooksBeWild agrees, highlighting and clarifying what some of us can’t point to.
“I think more and more of us are realizing that some men want the aesthetic of a family and children, but they don’t actually want to get married and have children,” she began. “Can you imagine being a kid: You’re excited to go to the pumpkin patch, you’re excited to spend some time with your dad, and this is what he’s saying from the front seat?”
Later in the video, @BooksBeWild admits that she couldn’t capture everything about the family dynamic in just one clip. Especially since the couple, who have nearly 700,000 followers, have to constantly pump out new content, so for all we know, that can be a bit difficult on social media. The video, she said, was more of a jumping off point for the overall idea that it seemed like a lot of men were more interested in starting a family than actually being involved in it.
“There are some comments [on the original video] This is what every father is. No, this is no Every father,” she continued. “My dad loved spending time with his family. I was with my brother and he loved spending time with his kids. He was so excited to take his three kids to the pumpkin patch… got pumpkins, got Got all the fun fall foods… took a bunch of photos and made happy memories with my family.
“I really think more men should consider not getting married,” she said simply. “I don’t mean that as some kind of slight, but I feel like some of them don’t know there’s an option, you can not get married, you can stay at home, you can do whatever you want, you can play what if You’re not interested in being a good husband and raising kids, then you can play video games, or whatever else you’re really interested in…Woman, before you marry someone and have kids, make sure he’s willing to do it. yes a father, [that] He wants to take on the responsibilities of being a father.
Many commenters can relate to this sentiment from unfortunate personal experience
“They want wives, but not husbands,” reads the video’s most popular comment. Another warned ominously,
“Later, when the children grow up, he will wonder why they don’t look back as fondly on all the ‘good times’ as he does when he is older. We don’t remember everything, but we can recall the energy.
But luckily, more comments shared from husbands, fathers, stepfathers, and grandfathers who always reveled in any time spent with their children.
“My stepdad saves money to take us on vacation every year,” one person shared. “It never failed, he really enjoyed being together. He still does! He lives across the street from me today.
Family life, even under the best of circumstances, is no fairy tale. Tantrums range from toddlers to teenagers and include whining, whining, and physical and emotional confusion. But hopefully for those of us who choose family life, it’s basically great. Even in the less-than-perfect moments, we (eventually) find some laughs and quite a bit of joy that will make you want to dive back in again tomorrow.
