Most people who have merged families together—whether we’re talking about merging two separate households or simply finding your footing in a partner’s family unit—will probably tell you that there’s a learning curve. At best, entering new traditions and existing paradigms is a bit strange, and at worst it can be a trial by fire. TikTok founder Erin Bruce, a mother of four, has some great and truly unique advice on how to find the right people to do it.
“I always tell my kids that whoever you marry is going to make the Christmas morning family gathering 50 years better or 50 years worse. You don’t just pick someone who interests you… you Whoever chooses will enhance or ruin Christmas for the next 50 years.
Fortunately, she said, her two married children made wise choices. “Things are even better when their spouse is present. … They are peacemakers. They add a lot of joy and fun, and great conversation. They are great listeners, they build bridges, they ask questions, They bring joy, they’re not moody, they’re positive, they’re helpful, so when you’re looking for someone, you’re looking for someone who can do all of those things for the family.
To be honest, we’ve never thought of it this way and it does provide a fresh but useful perspective on starting a life with someone. Now, of course (as some commenters have pointed out), you can’t just choose someone based on whether you think they’ll fit in with your family: you’re building your own family unit. but hopefully they will still be involving In your family and traditions. Additionally, it’s less about how they specifically fit in with your existing family and more about how they atmosphere In case you want to enjoy moving forward.
Many commenters agreed, with both positive and negative experiences.
“I’ve been married less than a year,” one comment read. “Thanksgiving and Christmas when I was married were the worst two days of my life.”
“I regret very much that I didn’t consider this when I got married at 23,” agreed a second. “I was too young to realize it.”
And, here’s some better advice, “Before you fall in love with him, find out if his mom is crazy,” one commenter suggested. “My MIL has made a lot of Christmases worse.”
Seriously, we’ve lost count of all the horrible mother-in-law comments: indeed, it’s something to consider!
