My child has no fear but loves to cast spells and play dead. I’ve made peace with “Jenny” (my eldest daughter’s ghostly friend), regularly fielding questions about death first thing in the morning and displaying a drawing of “Gothic Barbie” prominently, but we’ve also fallen into Had some trouble. For example, my son once asked his first-grade teacher if he could read Stephen King’s books The Shiningthen twist my fingers and make a hoarse “REDRUM” (this is an abridged version of a bedtime story I told him when I ran out of ideas). Then one time my new neighbor called her kids and she was crying because my daughter told them an elaborate thing. Stories about how their crawl space was filled with ghosts.
There’s evidence that there are benefits to children experimenting with horror, but some parents are wondering whether their children’s interest in the bizarre is something they should worry about. Should we encourage ghost stories, or involve them? Or maybe tell our kids to consider their audience? It’s a difficult balance to find between allowing children to develop their resilience and imagination while making them aware that not everyone is having fun.
While it’s worth investigating any concerns you have about your child, “creepy interests” may be a sign of intelligence and innovative thinking, assures Dr. Julie F. Skolnick. Gifted and easily distracted and founder of “Understanding Brings Peace.” Skolnick is an expert on “double special” children, those who are both gifted and have another diagnosis, such as ADHD. When you look at the ADHD brain, you’ll see that impulsivity and adrenaline seeking can lead a child toward scary situations. She also said that children with creepy interests have a “passion for learning” and “brains that crave to actually learn interesting stuff, not the boring stuff that everyone else is learning.” Children, especially those with neurodivergent And kids who think differently, want to know “how and why things work,” which may lead to them becoming interested in things like Ripley believe it or notmedicine, paranormal phenomena or death.
“Use their passion at the right time,” Skolnick said. For example, if your weird child has a sibling who is easily scared, weird things may not be talked about at family dinners, but Skolnick recommends setting aside a time for your weird child to able Talk about their interests. She suggests saying gently, “I’d love to have this conversation with you and you’re so invested in learning these things, but you know what? Not everyone will be interested, and it might be upsetting to some people, so Let’s spend some special time talking about it, which only works if you stick with your child and let them talk until they’re satisfied.
This is one of the many reasons you should help your child find their person. In talking to friends of mine whose kids also have morbid interests, they reminded me that the best thing for a creepy kid is to have creepy friends. When my oldest was told to draw wings for a Girl Scout activity, all the other kids drew angel wings and they drew “Devil Wings” (which we just watched and read about) a good sign). I documented the negative reactions of the Girl Scout leaders and then placed them in drama classes. They are now writing and performing a murder mystery drama – and emerged from first class beaming and gushing about the experience.
The best thing for a creepy kid is creepy friends.
While you don’t want your children to hide who they are in order to make others like them, you can encourage them to be empathetic to others’ comfort levels. Author Meg St-Esprit, a parent of a child “obsessed with scary things,” said that while most people are supportive, “we’re definitely going to try and maybe come over Contact your friend’s parents as we know not all children may have such interests.
Grace, the mother of an 8- and 11-year-old, didn’t want to censor her children’s interest in wearing scary masks after their father died. “They saw something horrific, and I think I sparked their interest because I thought it was understandable,” she told me. However, she stopped her eldest daughter from wearing the scary mask during random trips to the grocery store. “I told him it’s one thing to wear something scary in a certain environment, but it’s really unfair to surprise people with it when they just want to go grocery shopping.” Great point.
In my case, my oldest son wanted to write a letter to my neighbors when they moved last October. Luckily I proofread it because it says “Welcome to your new haunted house!” with a drawing of a ghost. We talked about how scared the girls were of their final house, and how even though we thought haunted houses were fun, they weren’t, so it wasn’t the best information for them.
My scary kids are so much fun. When I had to pick them up from school early because it was too hot in their non-air-conditioned school (American public schools do a great job), I took them there to surprise them Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Because of our love for Venus flytraps, we just decorated our front door with a Venus flytrap wreath Little Shop of Horrors. I love their creative thinking, scary stories, and pretend adventures. While we may need to continue to work on finding the happy medium when it comes to expression, I’m glad my kids are on the weirder end of the spectrum.
Laura Whitman Hill (She/Her) lives in Oregon with her two children. She holds a Master of Arts in Teaching and has taught English, writing, and drama to students of all ages. She has been published by The Daily Beast, Slate, CNN, Real Simple, Parents, and more. You can find her at laurawheatmanhill.comTwitter @Lwheatmaand @LauraWheatmanHill on Instagram
