Does your child ever feel like they don’t understand what “no” means? You say, “Don’t jump on the couch!” There they are, jumping happily like you never said a word. It may feel like a silly, childish act of defiance, but according to one expert, most young children’s language skills haven’t developed enough for them to understand negative connotations.
Speech therapist and mom Melissa Minney (@raiselittletalkers) shared a video on Instagram Reels to explain to parents that their kids may not understand what “no” means and offers ways to help teach them.
“Did you know that young children under the age of three don’t fully understand the words ‘no’ and ‘no’ in sentences?” she asked. “I’m a speech therapist and I’ll prove it. Watch this.
Minnie showed a video of herself and her daughter. She took out an apple and a lime and asked her daughter which one was no an apple. Her daughter points to the apple. Minnie then asked which fruit is no There’s a sticker on it – apples have stickers, limes don’t. Her daughter picked the apple with the sticker on it.
Parents, breathe a sigh of relief, you’re not going crazy! In this case, they really won’t say “no”! but why?
“Research tells us that children under three years old may incorrectly interpret these negative sentences as positive sentences, meaning they only pay attention to the rest of the sentence and not the negative part,” Minney explains. “So if you say don’t take the stairs, they’ll just hear the sound of the stairs.”
Small problem: Toddlers always do things they shouldn’t. This is their whole thing. So, how do you deal with it?
“When you want your child to stop doing something, tell them what to do, like, ‘Let’s sit on the couch,’ or ‘The couch is for sitting,'” Minney says. “If it’s a safety issue , try using a simple “no” or “stop” and then moving their body so they understand what those words mean. Once they are safe, you can follow up with what they can do.
Now, parents of toddlers, you may be thinking, “But my kid loves to say no to brushing his teeth.” Yes, “no” is many toddlers’ favorite word. But what Minney was talking about was the confusion that more complex sentences can create. It’s like searching for “cake recipes without eggs” – the search algorithm may still find the word “eggs” and show you one or two results that contain them.
Every child develops language slightly differently, so your child may or may not be in this boat. Minney clarified in her comments that children can still disobey because of a lack of impulse control, or as a means of testing boundaries.
She recommends trying this experiment with your kids from the beginning of the scroll to see if they understand “no” or “no.” The key, she explains, is to use two objects that you’re sure your child knows what they are.
If you don’t know this helpful information, you’re not alone! Many parents in the comments expressed their surprise, while others shared the funniest examples of their kids not taking “no” for an answer.
“My 2 year old loves to throw things for fun and I said ‘No! Don’t throw things!! So now he picks something up and screams don’t throw it! …and then proceeds to throw it and laugh 🤦🏼♀️ 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️,” one user shared.
“This seems to be true. Just last night, I told my child to stop biting and she continued to bite on purpose. I will try that next time.
So, maybe your child is still developing some of their language, or they just want to bite you. If you find it, please let us know.
