Even if you don’t know Iskra Lawrence, you Know Iskra Lawrence. First of all, she is the founder of Saltair, a brand that will no doubt be everywhere in your five-year plan. And, she may have attracted attention as early as 2016, when she refused to be Photoshopped to become Aerie’s first model. She stars in an unvarnished ad campaign with the brand that sparks a lot of very thoughtful (and necessary) discussions about the bodies we inhabit and the filter culture we live in.
In addition to building a massive online brand, the model-turned-entrepreneur has earned a reputation as one of the most influential online voices on body acceptance and inclusivity. The passionate advocate isn’t afraid to be vulnerable in front of her community (5 million on Instagram alone) about her own struggles with body dysmorphia and eating disorders. She knows body acceptance is not linear, and in sharing her story, she hopes to connect with people wherever they are in their own journeys.
On this tenor note, Lawrence is particularly excited to host The BodCon 2024 on Sunday, November 3rd. Panels and discussions (Reesa Teesa, who rose to fame on TikTok’s Who Did I Marry TF, will chat with Lawrence), inclusivity in fashion, the conflict between body positivity and the Ozempic craze, and more.
Scary Mommy caught up with Lawrence to talk about being a mom of two at BodCon and why there’s so much to unpack when it comes to body image right now.
SM: I really appreciate that BodCon isn’t some vanity scam—the community partner is the National Eating Disorders Association, which has a group of proven thought leaders. What does this mean to you?
IL: The number of times I’ve been invited to a panel that purports to be about diversity, and then when I ask to meet the other panelists, I’ll be like, ‘We’re all white and I’m the biggest one there. No, that won’t work. BodCon understands that this is core to its mission and part of its DNA. Everyone is aligned. Everyone knows what it is about and feels included, which is really special.
I do a lot of panels, especially more business-side panels, where people basically have time to promote their next product or promote their new book. This meeting is not about that. People genuinely want to share something in the hopes of helping someone on the other end, wherever they are. That’s the beauty of virtual meetings – it allows people from anywhere to access that information and feel part of the conversation.
SM: I feel like we’re in a tricky spot when it comes to body image because with the rise of GLP-1 drugs, the conversation around weight has really reached a fever pitch. How do you drown out that noise?
IL: I’ve even talked about it with my partner a lot – it just feels like we’ve been struggling and moving forward over the years and have made a lot of progress. It feels like this community and everyone feels like we’re taking care of ourselves. Then came the masking, conditioning, and glowing, all of which were very thin.
Obviously, I think a lot of us don’t even realize Ozempic is happening. It can be difficult for some leaders in the field to open up about what this journey looks like, and I think we’re all a little confused and feeling left out in the dark.
This return to skimpiness is just a common phenomenon—the ’90s trend has been on the rise over the past few years, especially in the fashion world. From my perspective, almost every plus size model I’ve spoken to in this industry doesn’t work or doesn’t work. Brands have cut plus sizes and extra-long sizes, and it’s like, ‘Wow, how did this rug get pulled out from under us?’ It’s so frustrating.
That’s concerning because I think a lot of people don’t know that this can cause long-term harm. I think a lot of people are thinking, “Oh, here’s an opportunity to talk about lifestyle changes and transitions,” but I think where the pressure comes from and why it becomes so important is something we need to break down. Is it society’s pressure, or the overwhelming subliminal messages we see during these radiant moments that are simply disguised as toxic diet culture and thinness? Or is it because we are learning more about how to take care of ourselves that people feel motivated to exercise more or change their lifestyles in positive ways?
SM: It’s really hard to wade through all of this and decipher what’s healthy, what’s real, and what’s toxic without comparing other people’s journeys to our own.
IL: That’s something that’s very personal and something that you really have to tap into and understand. I do feel triggered sometimes to think, “Oh my gosh, look at all these people, my peers” – I was also pregnant at the time – “is everyone suddenly finding extra time in the day to walk?” These steps? Are they really changing their lifestyle and nutrition in different ways? Or ozone? Or are people paying more attention to their bodies now because of Ozempic or because of changes in fashion?
I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on how they navigate things online and how they feel when they see people they might respect… There’s a lot to unpack.
SM: Of course. Even with the pitches I’ve gotten from PR reps this year, I’ve noticed that sizing is much less inclusive.
IL: I do think plus-size bodies and elongated sizes are not a priority for people. Even though they try to diversify their look by including more sizes in the campaign, it’s only a positive. Actual board rooms, actual tables where decisions are made, they don’t include dimensions. And there is a dearth of people who can truly speak out and advocate for those in positions of power like themselves.
SM: Well, congratulations on your new little girl, she just made a cameo! You had another home birth…how did that experience compare to your first time?
IL: The first one, I just don’t know. I think this is the hardest thing about labor, the newborn stage, and being a mother – no one teaches you what to do or how to do it, and there’s no perfect method or rule book. Through this birth, I want to know more about what to expect because I have gained insight into what I liked about the last birth and what I would change or improve. I knew how to breathe through these contractions. I know how they feel. I was just able to really enjoy it and get into it and be in it and not question it every second, like, Is this right? Is this what is supposed to happen? This is so painful; is it really that painful?
I also have a freshman team. This is tricky because [my first birth] It’s during COVID. So, my previous midwife was wearing a mask, which felt a little disconnected in that sense, whereas my new birth team felt like my best friends. It felt like we were doing this together and I felt so supported. I feel like no question is too stupid and I can ask them anything. With this support comes a sense of calm, That Entering birth changes all energies.
SM: Is it going relatively smoothly?
IL: What’s really interesting is, my midwife said that a lot of times, things that happen when you’re born the first time—anything that might be traumatic—can stay in your body and can happen the second time you’re born. During the second birth. I told her this was my fear: my son’s shoulders were stuck, and then he came out and his head was stuck. His neck was stuck in my cervix…I had to get out of the birthing pool as quickly as possible, I wanted to stay in the pool for the duration of the birth. My midwife pulled him out and he wasn’t breathing, well it was a split second but it still felt like, Oh, is that trauma? Is this normal? Obviously, this is normal, but the whole thing feels a little scary.
In the second birth, she did get into trouble when she was crowned, but the way my team handled it was completely different than the way I handled it this time around. No one panicked. Everyone knew that if I could keep the oxytocin high, she would come out with the next contraction. So I have to stay in the bathroom and there’s no pressure to “get out of the bathroom; get out of the bathroom;” She’s trapped! That’s awesome. So, in that sense, it does feel like the birth of redemption. Even though it was incredibly painful, it felt surprisingly peaceful and exactly what I wanted.
I think healing becomes easier because of that. I had no issues with sleep and breastfeeding went well so I was able to sleep better…I wish more people had the opportunity to actually have the birth they want.
SM: What changes have you noticed in your body this time around?
IL: I’m a big fan of what people call “fast forwarding.” I think that’s a good way to look at it, because your body is different. It’s like you’re getting a second version of yourself, which can be scary. You have to have time to understand it. I like the idea of thinking of your body as a house, but you have to turn it into a home – and sometimes, homes need some redecorating.
So, I’ve been trying to celebrate my body. I was depressed towards the end of my pregnancy. I’ve been walking with a cane for the last month. I have pelvic girdle pain and SI [sacroiliac] Pain, this is something I have never experienced before. Strangely, I’ve never heard of anyone having it. When I posted about this online, I got tons of comments and private messages from people saying, “Oh, I’ve been through this too.” I thought, how can we not be aware of our bodies? This boggles my mind.
But because I was depressed, I was worried if this would affect the delivery…I am in awe now that the pain was gone as soon as my baby was born. Whatever was happening to my pelvis, it moved. In this moment, I once again use gratitude as my most important tool: If my body is capable of this miracle, how could I not celebrate it?
SM: How do you reframe those moments when they feel less worthy of celebration, or Do you?
IL: certainly I would look at my body and think, ‘Oh, it’s so much softer. Oh, and those abs are still separate. Will they come together? Would I feel so strong? Maybe I’ll choose to go that route. Or maybe I’ll choose to be truly grateful and comfortable that my body did what it did and needed to do to deliver my baby, and enjoy it.
I think—well, I hope—that there is so much more to life than the grace we give ourselves. We just wish it happened so quickly. I want to lead with grace and appreciation for my body, and if I find the time to prioritize more movement and get stronger again, that’s something I’m interested in doing. It’s now that I realize how fast time flies. I look at my 4-year-old and try not to cry every day because I think, “You’re too big.” I know you know that feeling.
It just doesn’t require the attention and stress you put on these so precious little humans, the time you spend with them is the most important thing to me. So, I just keep doing it. I look at my body and I think it’s very much body neutrality as opposed to self-love that sometimes, yeah, there are some mornings where I’m like, ‘Oh, don’t look your best. ‘I would say confidently. Do I want to do my hair? Absolutely. Do I want to wear something cuter? That would be great, but I would be covered in drool.
When my baby was so young, I really wanted to be there for her. I knew this was where I wanted to invest my time, energy, and attention.
BodCon will be held this Sunday, November 3rd from 12pm to 5:45pm ET, and tickets can be purchased here (general admission is free!).
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.