There are two kinds of people: those who love, and those who love like Everything falls, and those who love the rain are on our parade. We get it. When we start preparing for PSL in March or planning fall decorations in July, we get a little geeky. But we just try to let people love what they love, right? The world is dark. Life is hard. Fall brings Halloween, a chance to dig the brains out of the pumpkins and make things a little spooky. This is our chance to design elaborate outfits and become whoever we want to be in just a few hours. Cheerleader? certainly. Headless Marie Antoinette? Great. Sexy pumpkin? (I mean…are you just not trying hard, or are you just a huge how I Met Your Mother fan?
If you’re here, it’s probably because you’re looking for something like this: something silly to do to get you into the spirit. None of the jokes are particularly hysterical, but they’re all at least smile-worthy. These pumpkin jokes and puns are perfect for kids, the classroom, and to share with your smiling barista when you order your weekly (or daily, no judgment) pumpkin spice latte. enjoy!
Pumpkin Joke Gourd Legend
1. Who helped Little Pumpkin cross the road safely?
Pass the gourd.
2. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?
“Hello everyone.”
3. How to repair a damaged jack-o-lantern?
Use the pumpkin patch.
4. What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver?
“Cut it off.”
5. What do you call a sports pumpkin?
A lantern player.
6. What is the name of the round jack-o-lantern?
A little fat guy.
7. What is the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a pumpkin?
Pumpkin peel.
8. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
“Use an apple instead.”
9. What did the pumpkin say when asked how he felt?
“I’m the vine, thank you!”
10. What could be wrong with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
You will feel the pain of autumn.
11. What kind of romance does Pumpkin like?
A mushy romance.
12. Why does Pumpkin do so poorly in school?
Because their brains have been ripped out.
13. Where do the pumpkins meet?
Food room.
14. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
They have no hands to knock on the door.
15. What did one pumpkin say to another pumpkin?
“Happy hollowing out!”
16. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
“You look a little sick.”
17. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?
“My gourd!”
18. What are black, white, orange and swing colors?
A penguin with a pumpkin.
19. The pumpkin says to the jack-o-lantern, “All we do is sit on the porch. Don’t you want to mix it up and try something different?”
The jack-o’-lantern replied: “I don’t have the guts.”
20. What is the gourd afraid of?
Things were crazy at night.
21. Where do pumpkins like to live?
In a seedy part of town.
22. What fun can an adventurous pumpkin do?
Go bungee hoisting.
23. What’s the best thing to put in pumpkin pie?
your teeth.
24. What is the name of the pumpkin that works at the beach?
Gourd of life.
25. Why does everyone think jack-o-lanterns are evil?
There is an evil candle inside.
26. What’s your favorite type of pumpkin?
pulp Fiction.
27. Why is Hulu so nosy?
Give them some pumpkins to talk about.
28. Why doesn’t Cinderella play football well?
Because she has a pumpkin as a coach.
29. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin skin.
30. How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?
On the vine base.
31. What’s Pumpkin’s favorite Western movie?
Gourd, bad guy, ugly guy.
32. Why are jack-o-lanterns so forgetful?
Because his mind is empty.
33. What did the disgusting pumpkin say?
“I don’t think so.”
34. Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?
Candles make them bright.
35. How did Jack-O-Lantern quit smoking?
Pumpkin field.
36. What did the happy hour pumpkins say?
“Let us be crushed.”
37. What is Pumpkin’s favorite sport?
squash.
38. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
squash.
39. How to cure someone addicted to pumpkin spice?
Attach pumpkin patches.
40. We received our seasonal bulk shipment at work today and got pumpkin spice motor oil.
This is for autumn cars.
41. Why should I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice latte?
Make them more basic.
42. Which British pop star is most popular during the Thanksgiving holiday?
Pumpkin spice.
43. What type of pants does the Ghost Pumpkin wear?
Boo jeans.
44. Why doesn’t Mother Pumpkin go on vacation?
They are too scared to relax.
45.Why don’t jack-o-lanterns eat Halloween candy?
They just don’t have the appetite.
46. Why do jack-o-lanterns never go trick-or-treating?
They have no body to accompany them.
47. How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?
On the vine base.
48. What’s your favorite type of pumpkin?
pulp Fiction.
49. How did the jack-o-lantern win the science prize?
A light came on in his mind!
50.What band do all pumpkins despise?
Smashing pumpkins.
51.Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
Keep things interesting!
52. Alanis Morissette What does the pumpkin impersonator sing about?
“You, you, you, Qiu, you know!”
53.What did the pumpkin say to the latte?
“When you add a little spice, everything becomes better.”
54. What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver?
“Cut it off.”
55. What snacks does Pumpkin eat while watching a movie?
Pulp Corn.
Pumpkin Puns Straight Out of Hobby Lobby
1. Compression target.
2. Life is a gourd.
3. The gourd is too big, so it’s better to go home.
4. Hey, Calabash!
5. You are the chosen one of the (pumpkin) patch.
6. Have a gourd Halloween.
7. Let’s “create” some fun this fall.
8. Let’s give them pumpkins to talk about.
9. I’ve never met a pumpkin I didn’t like.
10. Oh my gourd! I love autumn.
11. I only send you.
12. Do you drink oranges in autumn?
13. Wow, this pumpkin is totally ruined.
14. Give them pumpkins to talk about.
15. I walk in front.
16. You knock the gourd with me.
17. I’m on the crust 24/7.
18. What does the gourd look like doing?
19. Cheer and cheer.
20. I’ll patch you later!
21. Don’t (urd) break my heart.
22. Let the Hulu Era roll on!
23. You are the pumpkin in my pie.
24. Only the hoist vibrates.
25. Say empty words to my little friend!
26. Let’s spice it up with pumpkin!
27. Sorry, I’m a latte – I have to get my pumpkin spice.
28. I know the pumpkin spice latte puns.
29. I won’t give a smoothie unless it’s pumpkin spice
30.i+PSL=squash goal.
31. When pumpkin spice season arrives, life is a gourd!
32. I only drink pumpkin spice—just call me a regular witch.
33. Pumpkin spice and all things good.
34. Blood type: Pumpkin spice.
35. Let’s roast this pumpkin.
36. Stay calm and carry on.
37. My love for you is bigger than a pumpkin patch!
38. I’m really delicious–just like pumpkin pie.
39. You are the perfect choice for patches!
40. My favorite color is pumpkin.
41. A little gourd humor goes a long way.
42. Only a few pumpkins vibrate.
43. A gourd-like soul.
44. Orange Are you excited for pumpkin season?
45. Carve memories one pumpkin at a time.
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