The harsh truth is that most moms are the default parent in their home. Parents with kids stopping by for snacks, homework help, and rides to friends’ houses. They are also the ones who plan, organize and ensure the smooth functioning of the entire household. Need something? Ask mom. Mom built this machine that works so well, we call it a family operation, my friends!
This can also lead to resentment, loneliness, and harboring a lot of anger toward our partners because, frankly, they don’t and may never fully understand what this means. no way Clock out.
Maggie, a mom on TikTok, shared a perfect example of this imbalanced dynamic when she recalled a frustrating conversation she had with her husband.
“My husband came home one day and told me the appointment was canceled, and I asked him, ‘Oh, so what are you doing?’ He kind of got mad at me and said, ‘I just feel like I have to sign in. I have to sign in. “I have to think about this…” she began.
“I’m a stay-at-home mom. Like, yeah, because I never clock out. If I do want to clock out, I have to plan it days or weeks in advance. He told me his appointment was canceled. So he goes I went to Planet Fitness for a hydromassage. I said, ‘Okay, that’s great, whatever. But at the same time, if I find myself with some free time, you know what I’d do?’ Toys or folding clothes. I don’t go for massages.
She continued, “That’s the difference between a stay-at-home parent and a default parent, and the difference between being a stay-at-home parent and being a parent. I talked to him about it and it was frustrating. Has anyone else experienced this? Ever been in a situation where you felt like you couldn’t get off work, but you realized how easy it would be for your partner to be able to get off work?
In her caption, she elaborated, writing, “My day, life, and schedule revolve entirely around the kids, 24/7…and his doesn’t. Sometimes I just wish he could take on more so I could Can afford less.
Before I start singing that TikTok song (“Leave your husband! Leave, leave your husband!”), let’s break down what Magis is venting about here (which is pretty common). She is a stay-at-home mom. Therefore, her daily life focuses on her children and household chores, while her husband works and brings home a paycheck. This dynamic often sets up roles where mom takes care of the kids 24/7 and dad only “checks in” when needed because he’s bringing home bacon. While this situation is old and outdated, it still happens.
Several users in the Magge comments section expressed sympathy and vented about their husbands.
“Yeah, we’ve all been brainwashed into thinking marriage is the prize. We’re having so much fun,” one user wrote.
“Imagine him calling and saying – hey, my appointment is canceled. I’m going to go home and take care of the kids, you do it yourself. Wild,” said another.
Another noted, “It’s not just SAHM. It’s all the mom’s responsibility and it’s exhausting and overwhelming.
“Both are hard, but they don’t realize that even sitting alone in a car in traffic is a break. Eating lunch at work alone. It’s a break. We don’t understand this,” another user noted .
Other TikTok users tried to encourage Maggie to speak out and take action against this imbalanced workforce dynamic in their homes.
“Girl don’t do that. Get a massage. I’m a stay at home mom by default, I just get out of the house 😂,” one user said.
Another netizen pointed out: “I am the default parent. But I started to put myself first. I will leave the children with my husband and he will figure it out. Sir, you are a complete adult .We moms have to give up control.
Thanks to my husband I can leave him and our kids whenever I want and I will have zero worries! Hopefully the OP and others in her comments section can find a way to do this with the same ease!
