We can draw some parallels between raising children and caring for a garden (or houseplant): they force you to roll up your sleeves, get a little dirty, and make sure they have enough water and sunlight to thrive. You may talk to your plants and enjoy watching them grow, just like you (hopefully) do with your children, even if some seasons are more challenging. Just like children, different plants have different needs. For example, snake plants require less watering than orchids.
“Orchid Kids” have become popular on social media. These children tend to be more sensitive and cautious than their peers. On the other hand, there are “dandelion children”. Dandelion’s name comes from a yellow plant that means “lion’s tooth” in French, and its children—like the flowers—often display the qualities you’d expect from a lion’s tooth: performance even in the face of adversity. Produce strength and resilience.
“As a parent, have you ever told yourself: ‘I’m lucky. My child was and still is an easy child to get along with,'” says expert Dr. Regina Mooradian.
Quick warning: You might not like the label, and Mooradian understands. In fact, taking “personality type” too far may cause people to miss the forest for the trees. “It’s important to remember that every child is unique and has his or her own strengths and weaknesses,” Muradian said. “Every child learns differently and needs unique tools to help them grow.”
That said, knowing whether your child is dandelion-inclined can provide some perspective and ideas for helping them grow. Mental health experts provide a more in-depth study of dandelion children, including common characteristics and tips for raising dandelion children.
Okay, what are dandelion kids?
You may not grow dandelions. They only pop up when the weather is right, which can vary from year to year. You can say the same thing about dandelion children.
“A dandelion child is essentially a go-with-the-flow child with a calm, easy-going temperament,” says psychologist Elizabeth Crane, Ph.D. “They are affable, adaptable and flexible.”
If your settings change, these characteristics will not change.
“These types of children can thrive and coexist easily in different environments,” Crane said. “They are travel-friendly and thrive in different environments, whether at school or at a party. Similar to real dandelions, Dandelion Kids can thrive in different conditions, like a resilient flower.
How to tell if you have dandelion babies?
While it may take a while for your child’s true personality to emerge, experts say you may notice some signs during infancy that your dandelion is budding.
“Dandelion babies tend to be more aware and curious,” says Ashlee Martin of Thriveworks, a licensed professional counselor and former school counselor who specializes in coping skills, trauma, parenting and family therapy.
For example, Crane says, Dandelion Babies are something you wouldn’t hesitate to hop on a plane and passengers would send you flowers. “Strangers will comment, ‘Your baby is doing great – I didn’t hear anything.'”
In early childhood, Crane said, dandelion kids typically don’t fuss in daycare or at playtime. What is a possible reason for “easy off”? Martin says Dandelion toddlers are starting to show secure attachment. They know their adults will be back and crave social interaction with other adults and peers.
“As they continue to grow, they will gain confidence and not let small distractions get them down,” Martin said. “They’re going to persevere and be successful.”
Crane says some other signs you’re growing dandelions:
- Your child can entertain themselves for a long time.
- They adapt quickly to new environments, such as school and new friends.
- They remain calm in situations that might overwhelm other children, such as a baseball game with loud music playing between innings.
Martin adds that dandelion children often exhibit higher energy levels and lower sensitivity than their peers, which can sometimes lead to disregard for other people’s feelings.
How to help your dandelion kids thrive as they grow
Like flowers, dandelion babies often look like they “don’t need much” to survive. However, experts stress that this is where personality types can go wrong. All children have needs, and if you’re reading this here, you’re probably an intuitive parent who wants to help your child survive and Thrive. Here are some seeds experts have planted that you might want to plant.
Cultivate self-expression
Crane says dandelions don’t usually make many demands because they’re easy-going, but that has its pros and cons. “They may not express their needs or express their opinions,” Crane said. “They often turn inward, even if something makes them feel bad. It’s important for parents to teach their children to think independently, speak up, and create autonomy and agency.
This process can begin in early childhood.
“Try letting them make small decisions, such as choosing clothes or a bedtime story, to help them make independent decisions,” suggests Dakari Quimby, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at HelpGuide Handbook.
As your child grows, Crane recommends asking questions like, “What do you think about this?” and “What do you think about this?” Encourage speaking up.
Introduce them to various settings
Dandelion children are open-minded and adaptable—two traits that, if nurtured, will serve them well for a long time.
“Try to get them involved in after-school activities and make sure they interact with all different types of kids,” Quimby said. “It’s also beneficial to encourage them to explore new places. This improves their social skills and prepares them to flourish socially.
Sports and physical activity are great for these children, who are often energetic and noisy, Martin said. Just avoid over-scheduling, as dandelions can sometimes overgrow. If your child feels tired or withdrawn, it may be a sign that they need help setting limits.
Support problem solving
Dandelion children are strong in the face of adversity, but their easy-going nature may lead them to accept solutions devised by others.
“Encourage them to think about problems rather than just telling them how to solve them,” Quimby said. “For example, if they are confused about a game or project, ask questions like: ‘What part might fit here and why?’ This helps them develop critical thinking skills. Make sure to provide appropriate scaffolding to set children up for success. Instead of being prepared for setbacks.
Quimby advises parents to make sure the challenge is age-appropriate. For example, older babies and toddlers can stack cups but are not ready to play a 900-piece jigsaw puzzle.
Don’t take their traits for granted
You probably don’t think too much about dandelion flowers—they bloom when they’re ready and can survive the changeable spring weather. But Mooradian stressed that dandelion children require special care and attention.
“To help your dandelion kids thrive, it’s important not to take their strength and resilience for granted,” says Muradian. “They still need to be acknowledged, praised, seen and valued – even if you as a parent know they will recover or adapt to any challenge.”
Mooradian recommends celebrating small victories, like brushing your teeth or putting away your shoes without being asked. She also recommends recognizing and praising strengths, such as eagerly retrying a tough math problem and getting the answer right the second time.
Help them understand and express their feelings and empathize with others
Sometimes, the easy-going nature of dandelion children can make them seem aloof, and they may have difficulty empathizing with those who are more sensitive and less flexible than they are.
Mooradian said it’s important to discuss feelings as a family, and Quimby explained these conversations promote empathy. “If you’re telling a story, discuss your characters’ emotions and motivations to help deepen their understanding of others’ feelings,” says Quimby.
learn from each other
Orchids and dandelions are often depicted as “complete opposites.” There are definitely differences – if you’re a parent, you may be overstimulated by some of your child’s favorite activities, or more sensitive to certain comments. But that doesn’t mean you’re not “right” for each other. In fact, Crane says, orchid parents and dandelion children bring out the best in each other.
“We are our children’s teachers, and our children are our teachers,” she said. “The orchid parent can guide the dandelion child to build autonomy and communication skills, while the dandelion child reminds the orchid parent to let go and stop sweating the small stuff. It’s a beautiful dynamic that brings differences together.
