Vacations are great, but one thing that’s never fun is the logistics. Who is baking what? Who hasn’t responded yet? Should we buy gifts for adults this year or only for children? Of course, who is the organizer?
That last item can be particularly controversial, especially when it comes to in-laws, which is exactly what Reddit user u/confettii123 faced when he asked “AITAH” on the popular “Am I The Assh*le” (AITA) subreddit problem.
Confetti noted that she and her husband had different expectations for what Christmas morning would look like based on their own childhoods. Confetti, an only child, celebrated with her parents before heading to her grandparents’ house nearby. Her husband, one of three children, grew up with visiting family members who gathered around the tree in the mornings.
“Before having kids, we would spend a week or a long weekend with them over Christmas,” she explains, but now that she has two, she wants to make the morning “sacred and sacred between the four of us.” close”.
“We only had so many little ones on Christmas morning and I wanted to soak in every moment,” she said.
Her idea was to enjoy Christmas morning as a family of four and then drive three hours to his home, where his parents and visiting siblings (no children) would celebrate. She later added that she was happy to have her in-laws come to their home on Christmas morning, but the plan did not go over well with her husband anyway.
“He said I was selfish and inconsiderate of his parents’ feelings, because to them, watching their grandchildren open Santa’s gifts meant the world,” she continued. “His mom used to say that no matter where they went, Santa would always travel for them (passive-aggressive to my feelings). We had the same argument last year. I told my husband it was their turn to take care of Now it’s about us and our kids. I still want to see his family and celebrate with him, but only on Christmas morning with just the four of us. Am I being unreasonable?
Reader reactions were mixed. Many supported Confetti’s decision, with some pointing out the hassle of transporting the entire family add To her in-laws and back. Others simply believed “they had a baby. They had a Christmas morning moment.
“I was one of those kids who got dragged from pole to pole every Christmas and I hated it,” one commenter said. “We can barely play with our toys because we’re at someone else’s house and our toys are ‘messy’ or ‘get lost, so leave them in the box.'” Ugh. For our son, the rule is that people are more than welcome to come to us, but we are not going anywhere on Christmas Day.
Others thought Confetti’s decision was too stubborn.
“The decision was made by both of you,” one comment read. “YTA thinks your wishes trump his own based on that comment alone.”
“So this is about your wants and needs?” asked another member of the YTA team. “You celebrated Christmas a certain way as a kid and expected your husband to agree and conform to your preferences? That he couldn’t share his holiday preferences with the kids?
Many people think this is a case of “NAH” or “no assholes here”.
“You and your husband have the same problem,” one Reddit user commented. “You all resist change.”
“No,” the other agreed. “You (the only child) and your husband (the middle of three children) grew up differently and think about Christmas differently. For you, it’s the tradition of a small, tight-knit nuclear family; for him, This is celebrated among an extended immediate family.
It just goes to show that there are no clear answers when it comes to family dynamics during the holidays, you’re never going to make everyone happy, and you’re not the only one who struggles with this this year or any year. God bless…
