Sex is one of the pillars of a relationship, and it’s been so scrutinized and analyzed that if you go against any cliche relationship advice, you’ll almost feel like you’re doing it wrong. The thing that gets me the most is “spontaneity,” as if consistency in sex is a bad thing. A lot of this spontaneity comes from timing, such as when you have sex, or when you have sex with your partner. It’s one thing to be young, unburdened by kids, and ready to have sex at home, but it’s another thing when you’re a parent and sex is no longer possible at any time.
They say we almost never know the truth about someone’s sex life because everyone lies to make themselves feel (or sound) better about their reality, but we reached out to a bunch of moms who were willing to tell us exactly what they were When to have sex. We don’t care how often the sex is, or how mediocre or dirty the sex is; we just want to know when. When will you do it?
Some of the answers will surprise you—but it should happen. We all have our own ideas about when to have sex, the best times to have sex, and what times work for each of us, so it might be shocking to hear someone say the exact opposite. But if you’re worried about your sex life, let these answers serve as both inspiration and comfort—there’s no right or wrong time.
early horny bird
“I absolutely love morning sex. We are both early birds and naturally wake up around 5:30 or 6 every morning, so we get up at that time. — Tara F., mom of three
“My partner and I have always loved having sex in the morning. I think it’s because when we first started dating she worked the night shift a lot and she would come home and we would have sex around 5am before she went to bed and before I woke up. It felt like Our time is still there. — Hannah R., mother of two.
“We set alarms twice a week to get up and have sex. I know it sounds crazy, but I get up, put on my underwear, and our toys are charged, and it never feels like a sex vacation or something. Even if it’s 4 a.m. Then we go back to sleep until our kids wake up. — Emma T., mom of four.
“We start having sex after the kids are in the car and before my husband goes to work. It’s like our only time alone without worrying about when to pick up the kids or if a meeting is about to start, etc. — Julia O ., mother of two
Any time is a good time to have sex
“Are people really tracking this? Just do it when you’re horny! —Delilah T., mom of one
“Whenever I have time. Sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the bathroom an hour before work. — Sarah K., mom of three
“I’m tired when I go to sleep, but I’m also not good at planning sex during the day. So basically, if I’m like, ‘Wow, we haven’t had sex in a minute,’ I’ll text my partner, like, a picture of a boob and so on, and then he’ll come to me at home, which sometimes means quick access to our walk-in closet if the kids are home. —Jennifer L., mom of three.
Opportunist with an empty house
“We have five kids, so when the last one went to school, it was a big milestone. I think the first year, when I came back from dropping off the last kid, we had sex every day. — Megan J., five child’s mother
“We actually really enjoy daytime sex. We both work from home and all of our kids are in school, so it’s not unusual for us to do it during lunch breaks. — Jessica P., mom of two
“During the day, of course. I was so tired at night and the house was empty during the day, so he came home during his lunch break and we just talked. Literally. —Theresa R., mom of two
Sexy couple before going to bed
“We always have sex before bed. Like when we go to bed together. There’s not a lot of spontaneity, but we’re okay with it, and it happens at least twice a week. — Hannah H., one child mother
“We have sex at bedtime after every bath. Almost every night. — Emily E., mom of two
“I’m a dating single mom, so the only time I can have sex is when I go on a date — which means the nanny has already put my kids to bed and I’m free to have sex whatever I want. — Lauren J., mother of one
“We love having sex at night when we’re sleeping.” —Molly W., mother of two
“I know it’s boring, but it’s bedtime. If I don’t pass out immediately. — Kate T., mom of two
“I can’t have sex if our kids are awake and at home. I just can’t. We always do it at night, like around 11:00. — Morgan G., mom of two
