I firmly believe that motherhood has the power to fundamentally change us. As a mom of two, I’m well aware that I’ve only scratched the surface of my own evolution on this journey. Even so, I can’t help but look back with awe on how much I’ve grown and changed as a mother over the past few years.
There’s no doubt about it: I’m a different mom now than I was not that long ago. This was before I had my second child. This has been my experience growing up since I went from being a mom of one to a mom of two.
Motherhood looks different now than it did before I had two kids
Three years ago I had my first child, my baby girl. Soon after 18 months, she became a big sister. What about me? It felt like I was reborn as a mother. Here are some of my evolutions in motherhood since I transitioned from one to two kids:
I trust myself (and my gut) when it comes to parenting
After I gave birth to my first child, I found myself second-guessing everything. I constantly question whether I am making the right parenting choices for her, myself, and my family. Who am I to suddenly have the right to be completely responsible for another human being? It turns out that I am perfectly capable of making any decision about my own children. More than anyone else in the world, by the way. This time, I trusted my gut when I made decisions for my children. There is no parenting guide, but I know I can rely on my inner voice to guide me in the right direction. After all, it hasn’t let me down yet.
I no longer let people’s opinions influence me like I used to
Early on in my early days as a first-time mother, I quickly discovered how many people thought they knew my child better than I did—and what was best for her. From in-laws to doctors to many random titles in between, everyone has an opinion on one thing. My parenting style, my preferred feeding style, our sleeping habits every night, and my decision to stay home with my kids. . . your name. It turns out that no one’s opinion matters on anything but my own. At this point, I am confident in my parenting and will not let other people’s unsolicited opinions influence how I choose to raise my children.
I focus more on slowing down and living in the moment
If the past three and a half years have taught me anything, it’s that life with kids moves by incredible Quickly. They’re only small for a short time – and then suddenly, they’re not so small anymore. This time, I tried harder to focus on what mattered most.
Master the perfect pristine sleep schedule? No. Not interested. How many days do you spend tracking naps and monthly milestones? Not that I care. All I want to do is enjoy every bit of magic in life with my kids before they grow an inch. Will they feel the pure joy when I say yes to a popsicle on a hot summer day? Count me in. I don’t want to say “no.” I really want to slow down and soak it all in – because I know none of this will last forever.
I give myself more grace to deal with the bumps along the way
As rewarding as it is, being a mom isn’t easy. When I first got into the trenches, I spent too much time feeling guilty about things I shouldn’t be stressed about. For too much screen time (or even starting with screen time), for not being present enough for every waking second, for the need for occasional quiet self-regulation, the list goes on.
Now, as a mother of two, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can only do so much to be the best mom I can be. . . That is enough. Did you know? It was so refreshing to finally understand that I could be human. More importantly, I teach my children that they, too, can be human. Motherhood is a wild ride—and naturally, there are going to be bumps along the way. This time, I’m a little more forgiving for all of them.
I am no longer the mom I used to be. . . It doesn’t matter
Motherhood is a dynamic journey that can change us if we let it. For better or worse (as much as I’d like to think for the best), today I’m not the mom I used to be. This chapter—filled with slightly more seasoned moments of two tiny humans going up against a tiny companion on my hip—is defined by hindsight. It’s defined by wanting to do everything right, forgiving yourself when you don’t, and having the desire to continue growing. This chapter is deeply influenced by the sacred, imperfect, ephemeral pages that preceded it. I was a different mom the second time around. . . But I’m still equally proud of each evolving version of myself.
