We all have trouble sleeping, especially nightmares at some point, and the same goes for children, especially those between the ages of three and six. Nightmares are nothing to worry about unless they become a problem that keeps your child up at night. Nightmares can be very vivid and frighten young children, and although they are a natural occurrence, they are best dealt with early on before problems arise.
What is a nightmare?
Nightmares are dreams that usually occur during the rapid eye movement sleep stage at night and can cause strong emotional reactions in the sleeper. Nightmares can be caused by a variety of factors, and frequent nightmares in children may be related to the fact that children are completely dependent on adults for survival and therefore very vulnerable.
Most children have nightmares from time to time, but toddlers between the ages of 2 and 4 are prone to nightmares because this is the time when their imaginations bloom, when normal fears begin to develop, and they actually have the ability to describe nightmares.
Why do I have nightmares?
The root cause of nightmares in children is unknown, but factors that may lead to frequent nightmares in children aged 2-4 years include:
- fever
- Traumatic events, such as surgery
- Common stresses while growing up
- active imagination
- Listen to a scary story before going to bed
- Watch disturbing movies or TV shows
- Changes to childcare or preschool
- Move to a large kid’s bed with a quality wooden bed frame.
- potty training
Children between the ages of 5 and 8 may begin to have nightmares because at this age they become aware of real-life dangers such as fire, violence, car accidents, and death. Nightmares can also be caused by stress, such as the start of school, divorce, the death of a family member, or even a parent being laid off. For children of this age, nightmares are a way to relieve such stress.
How to know if this is a nightmare
When toddlers are too young to tell you what they’re afraid of at night, it can be difficult to determine what’s causing their distress. Nightmares aren’t the only reason young children wake up and get upset. Sometimes toddlers wake up and feel restless because they haven’t learned to fall back asleep naturally and need a little comfort and cuddles. Other reasons could be being too hot or cold, or just not feeling well.
If your child usually sleeps well but wakes up suddenly screaming or crying, clinging to you, and having trouble falling back to sleep, it could be due to a nightmare. This is likely to happen if the dream occurs in the second half of the night, as dreams usually occur during REM. Often they will also remember the nightmare the next day, and it may haunt them during their waking hours.
Nightmares should not be confused with night terrors, which are sleep disorders that occur in the first third of the night. During night terrors, children will remain in a deep sleep, non-dreaming state, although they will show signs of extreme agitation. Once the attack is over, they continue to doze peacefully and often don’t remember anything when they wake up in the morning.
How to prevent nightmares
There’s no foolproof way to prevent nightmares, but there are some things parents can do to reduce their occurrence:
- Creating a calming bedtime routine that includes taking a warm bath, telling a soothing bedtime story, or a happy song often works well
- Try choosing bedtime stories that associate sleep with happiness, safety, warmth and comfort
- Turn on the night light
- Tell your children about the Native American dream catcher, which caught bad dreams and let only the good ones pass; you can even have them help you make one out of pipe cleaners, or paint one and hang it on their bed
- Put a little of the cream into a small jar and label it “Sweet Dreams Cream” and apply it to your child’s face or tummy, or have them do this before saying good night
- Put some water with vanilla or lavender extract in a spray bottle and label it something like “Monster Spray” or “Magic Fairy Spray” and let them spray out their nightmares before bed
If the nightmares persist, or you feel they are caused by some form of stress, discuss them with your child during a calm, happy time during the day. If they persist and your child is afraid of sleeping, discuss it with his or her pediatrician, as this may be an emotional issue that needs to be addressed. Research has also shown that the Ferber Method can be effective in resolving sleep problems in children.
How to deal with recurring nightmares
If your child is still plagued by nightmares, there are some things you can do to try to make bedtime easier for you and them, soothe them, ease their fears, and try to make sure they get the rest they need:
- conventional – Follow the exact same schedule every night before bed because routine is comforting for children this age. Continue with a regular warm bath, quiet board games, bedtime stories, or anything else that calms them.
- Encourage positive thoughts – Talk about their favorite videos, or the fun they had during the day; ask them what they want to dream about. There’s no guarantee this will work, but falling asleep with positive thoughts will help them relax, which may prevent nightmares.
- There must be light – Either put a night light in the room, or open the door a crack and turn on the passage light to shine a little into the room; or give them a small flashlight to put under their pillow and turn it on when they wake up and feel scared flashlight.
- Give them a sleeping partner – Even if they have a doll or stuffed animal that they usually enjoy cuddling with, find a new toy that appeals to them that you can take home and give them cuddles at night and tell them it’s their new friend who’s just spending the night with you Go home together and protect them.
- play some tunes – Place an MP3 player or CD player in their room with their favorite songs playing and gently turn it on for them to listen to as they fall asleep. Mix it up with some calm soothing music and lullabies.
How to soothe your child after a nightmare
Trying to soothe a toddler or young child after a nightmare isn’t the easiest thing to do, but there are steps you can take to make it easier and calm them down enough to fall asleep again.
immediate response
If your child cries in the middle of the night, go to them immediately or wake them up if they are still sleeping so the nightmares can stop. It’s important to provide physical comfort to young children, so hold them and rub their back while talking to them gently. If they want to talk about the nightmare, let them do it, but if they don’t want to discuss it, don’t force the topic. Children this age are just beginning to understand the difference between reality and fantasy, so telling them “it was just a dream” doesn’t make much sense.
Once they’ve calmed down, tell them there are no monsters under the bed or in the closet, give them their favorite toy to cuddle with, turn on a night light, and tell them you’re just down the hall if they need you. You can also buy dancing cactus for kids to help them overcome their nightmares and make them feel like they’re not alone.
Empathy
Don’t try to brush off nightmares as unimportant; don’t try to allay their fears. Show empathy and compassion and tell them that everyone gets scared sometimes, even you. Tell them you understand their fear of monsters under the bed or bears in the house; show them that there are no monsters under the bed or in the closet, and reassure them that the only bears in the home are the stuffed bears in the toy box and that they are cute, soft, and can Embrace. We may also want to provide your children with the best thermal sleeping quilt and tell them that every time they use it, they will feel our warm embrace while sleeping.
rest assured
If your child is scared, tell him or her that they are always safe in their house and bedroom, that you always lock all the doors so no one, monster, or animal can get in, and that you are Down the hall getting ready for bed, brushing your teeth or reading a book in bed, whichever way better helps them imagine what you look like and you’ll check in on them from time to time after they fall asleep.
avoid terrible things
Avoid watching horror TV or movies, or books about witches, evil stepmothers, and poison darts, and make sure your children are not watching violent crimes in the news or violent or gory TV shows. If you must discuss such topics with your spouse, do so out of earshot of your children.
Desensitize your child to fear
If your child is afraid of sleeping alone, you can help them gradually face their fears by placing a mom or dad’s bed on the floor in their room. Sleep there for a few nights so the fear subsides enough for him to relax and get a good night’s sleep, then gradually move the mattress closer to the door each night until you’re sleeping in the hallway. When it comes to your mattress; it plays a bigger role than you think. Your child’s comfort depends on the quality of the mattress. If the child is uncomfortable, then he is more likely to wake up. So if you think this might be the problem then you can check out the Eva mattress and buy one for him as this one is very comfortable. Once he’s falling asleep without nightmares and you’re sleeping in the hall, you can promise to tuck him in every night, check on him frequently, and then resume sleeping in your own bed.
Play with him in his room during the day so he can see his room as another part of the house rather than a “quarantine room” so he can feel comfortable in it again.
give them choice
Chat with your child during the day and ask them to help you make a list of things that can help them feel safer at bedtime. This might include things like whether they want a night light on, an open door, a special toy or something else to serve as a safety item, and whether she wants mom or dad to check on her after bed. This helps the child feel as though they have control over their fear.
Be careful to avoid letting children sleep in your bed as this can cause problems and be difficult to eradicate.
There are a number of other things you can try, depending on the specific personality of the child in question and talking to them about their fears. It can also be very helpful to discuss the nightmare from the night before at the breakfast table the next morning. You can also share some of your own dreams and how you dealt with them. This will help the child understand that nightmares happen to everyone and are not something to be feared but can be discussed like a good book or movie.
You can also make a game, dress up or draw a dream and change the ending to a fairy tale ending. This will help the child express his dreams and fears and give him a sense of control over the conscious and subconscious events that occur in his daily life and enable him to cope with life and nightmares.
