Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready to leave the house, I gave both my sons a kiss and a hug goodbye. Then I knelt down and kissed my dog. Then I almost walked out the door before I realized I forgot to say goodbye to my husband.
What does he think about this, you might ask? I tell you: He stared at me with hurt wonder.
This dog has been ours for over two years now and I am completely smitten with him because he is who I am. He is my constant companion, my pillow, my snuggle friend. He spent most of the week sitting on my lap—or almost on my lap. My kids go to school, my husband goes to work, and my dog comes into my lap while I work from home. He sat at my feet while I sat at the kitchen counter eating breakfast and working.
If we leave together, the dog will wait until I get home to celebrate my return. He needs to be greeted by me and me alone (even if he sleeps at my feet) before being let out in the morning. He really only seems to like it when I “make” his meals (i.e. put out the dog food with some leftover hamburger meat). He hates walking with my husband and instead looks at the house looking for me. He followed me into the bathroom. This is the natural order of things in my house these days.
I admit that my husband is right: the dog barks; He hates the mailman, and like most dogs, he can hear a garbage man a mile away. But I swear those big bug eyes of his are reserved just for me.
All that being said, this dog has become a third child and I think my husband is starting to resent me for it.
To be fair, despite my husband’s best efforts to act, he loved the dog. I would find him snuggling with the dog or rolling on the floor. He loves running around in the backyard with him. Still, my affection for the animal—well, how it robbed me of my affection for my spouse—seemed to turn him off. It probably doesn’t help that I enjoy watching my kids interact with him as if he were a human child.
After all, I was the one pushing the dog. I wanted companionship during the day, worked from home, and believed—despite no real scientific evidence—that children who grew up with dogs would become better people later in life. But maybe I was pushing too hard; maybe my need for a project was clouding my thinking about how family dynamics would change.
However, family dynamics always change as children grow and people develop. So maybe this is our new normal as it relates to dogs. That…or the old motto of “happy wife, happy life” will win the day. Only time will tell.
