Let’s face it – raising kids is kind of scary. The way we choose to parent can have a significant impact on our children’s futures, and we know this because we’ve probably noticed the impact our own parents had on us. We constantly ask ourselves, what is correct Parental way? Or more likely, how do I no Messed up my kid?
One TikTok user has a theory. Audi Ferrin shared a video last week about how she believes her parents’ gentle parenting style allowed her to become a successful adult, as well as a successful parent.
“I am the product of a gentle upbringing. I am now 32 years old and have three children. Now that I am a parent, I realize what a great job my parents did,” she shared.
“I spend a lot of time thinking about my childhood and the things my parents did in different situations that helped shape me into the person I am today. It’s normal, mentally healthy, and I have a sense of myself. A healthy perspective, my inner voice is kind,” she said.
Sounds like a pretty enviable result!
“I feel very fortunate and fortunate because my parents made a huge effort to be kind and respectful to us and to take their job as our parents seriously. They loved us, but they were there to guide us,” she said.
Many commenters expressed support for gentle parenting.
“I’m also the product of gentle upbringing. It’s the gift that keeps on giving,” Hi said.
“I hope one day my kids can feel like this. So hard,” said Catherine Fudge.
Other commenters wondered if Audie and her parents could offer some guidance to those unfamiliar with gentle parenting practices.
“I would love to see examples of how they do this. I was not a gently raised child and I am trying my best to break the cycle in my family for my daughter.
Thankfully, Audi has examples ready.
“One thing my parents did very well was teach us how to treat them… My parents did that by correcting us and kindly setting boundaries on what was respectful and what was not. It’s always a beautiful relationship between parents and children because we know they respect us and they respect us, so they respect us in return,” she explained in a follow-up video.
Audi recalls an argument she had with her mother as a child that ended with her yelling, “Don’t be stupid!” She remembers her mother’s stern but calm response: “You can’t talk to me like that.”
“I remember what it felt like to disrespect my mom and I didn’t want to do it again. She didn’t have to scream at me, she didn’t have to punish me, she didn’t have to give me a huge lesson on the spot, she just said ‘That’s not how you talk to me. . “
This busts a popular myth about gentle parenting—that gentle parenting means letting your kids walk all over you. In fact, gentle parenting is authoritative and respectful.
In another clip, Audi explains that when she missed her curfew as an adult, she suffered the consequences of being delayed an hour earlier. Her dad never yells at her when she comes home late, but calmly tells her, “I’m really disappointed and I hope we can talk about this again tomorrow.” And then, they both Go to bed.
“Even in that moment when I was an hour late and I broke his strict rules, even then he respected me and even then he wanted to talk about it and treat me like a respectable person. Treat me like everyone else,” she explained. “The one word I would use to describe my parents’ parenting style is ‘respect.'”
Audi also realizes that as a parent, it can be difficult to provide gentle parenting in the face of deep depression. She shared this advice from her father, who was particularly upset with her brother at the time.
“He was thinking, ‘He’s 12 years old, but he’s acting like a 12-year-old,'” she said. “This is a great mantra to remember as a parent… Just saying this to yourself will help you calm down and remember that their brains are not fully developed yet, they are learning, and they will make mistakes. Very very stupid mistake.
Really, aren’t we?
For more gentle parenting stories and tips, Audie released an episode of her podcast “Wait But How” starring her parents.
