Can parents be dignified? A toddler’s mother weighs herself

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I constantly thought about (and worried about) what kind of mother I would be. Will I become authoritative or relax the rules? Do I try to control what my kids wear, or do I let them dictate their own style? I’m still figuring out what my parenting style is really like, but I know one thing for sure: I’m not a demure mom.

Definition of modesty

When I saw this trend on TikTok, I first started thinking about what modesty actually means in the context of motherhood. Joolie Lebron is a TikTok blogger who started it all with a video outlining principles for how to look “very dignified and very focused” at work — lashes, permed Hair, plain clothes.

From my personal understanding, LeBron’s film is a combination of seriousness and satire. Yes, it does sound ridiculous when someone tries to dictate how a woman should dress or groom herself to appear “respectable.” Although I get her point, especially at work, it’s important to look presentable.

But more importantly, modesty is a state of mind. It was a calm and soft voice, a patient look, a calm, reserved attitude.

Many moms and middle school teachers are jumping on the modesty bandwagon. No matter how much we joke about it, many of us love to give our opinions on how parents should raise their children and present themselves to the world. Well, here’s another fact: It’s basically impossible to maintain decorum when raising young children.

Modesty doesn’t always work

I don’t think this trend necessarily requires women to adhere to 1950s ladylike manners, it’s just not that profound, as the TikToker who called “bed rot” modesty demonstrated. But it did make me realize exactly how incapable I am of being a parent of a toddler. In fact, the best way I would describe life with young children is “crazy.”

I often try to stop my daughter from jumping off furniture. I ran past the sprinklers, chased her on the grass with half-eaten snacks, and placed her stuffed animals in the stroller to exact specifications.

There have been many times when I lost my patience while trying to get my daughter to sit quietly at the dinner table. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost cried after spending an hour trying to get her to sleep.

While my daughter and I are prone to meltdowns, we also express our joy loudly, laugh until we turn red, or pretend to be dinosaurs—a far cry from the modesty women should adopt. trend.

Pay attention to what’s really important

My warning about all this is that I Do Try to remain mindful amidst all the chaos. But mindfulness means encouraging my child to take up space and use her voice, to express herself in the way that feels most comfortable and authentic to her, and to resist any demands to conform that would make her feel restricted.

Ideally, we always remember to use quiet voices in the library, and mealtimes will proceed with a Naira Smith level of calm. However, this was not my reality when I was raising a young child, and I can confidently say that I was happier that way.

Like I said, I know the modesty trend is a joke and no one, whether they’re raising a toddler or not, can actually act cute all the time.

But listen to one mom who sweats it out all day long at the park while her kids perform death-defying athletic moves on metal rides: Modesty is overrated.