Jeremy Renner is always ready for a nap

Hello everyone, I am Grace, the editor-in-chief of Parents magazine. Welcome to my bi-weekly column where I bring you conversations with famous people sharing their experiences on this journey called parenthood.

Grace Bastidas, Editor-in-Chief

“Eagle Eye” can take a back seat. For Jeremy Renner, becoming a father is the greatest role he has ever played. “If I didn’t have my daughter Ava, I don’t know who I would be — someone I might not like,” the Avengers the actor told me while promoting his partnership with Silk. “She is my sunrise, my sunset, my north star.”

He shares an 11-year-old child with ex-wife Sonni Pacheco, which is why he was able to recover from a near-fatal snowplow accident last year. During that journey, he taught her the power of resilience, something I try to instill in my own daughters. But as Jeremy told me, parenting requires emotional energy. Considering everything he’s been through, he’s more than willing to put in the work…as long as he can take a nap once in a while!

You and your daughter seem very close. We all got a glimpse of your relationship in the Super Bowl commercial you did together for Silk. What’s the secret to a strong relationship?

The ability to take a nap. That’s when you get a few moments of alone time, which is nearly impossible for single parents. My daughter is 11 years old. So I needed the emotional energy to keep up with her. Now that I am older, I communicate more. At this time, I am here to guide and inspire her. I try to give her responsibility and let her do more adult things. I was her driver, her cook. Now I’m teaching her different ways to cook in the kitchen and how to take care of herself while also caring for others.

This is probably something you learn as one of seven siblings.

My siblings and I are 10 years apart, which really enhanced a lot of my parenting qualities. I got to be a part of my sister’s birth, and then when my other sister had a baby, I got to be a part of the process. When I gave birth to my baby at age 42, I was certainly well prepared. Still, I don’t think anything can ultimately prepare you for being responsible for another human being. When your mission is to take care of others, you remove yourself from yourself and what you think is important. This is a wonderful thing.

This is. But balancing parenthood with everything else can sometimes feel overwhelming. How do you find joy when life is stressful?

I don’t have a bad day anymore. I was pushed to the limit of my life [almost] Until my death, so I find comfort in my next breath and next step. I have a lot of support and I cultivate and work on the relationships I have to have that support in my life. As any parent knows, it takes a village. I think it’s very important to build one. You’re going to need lots and lots of people – a cool uncle, a strong aunt – so that your kids have other voices in their lives that matter to them and their perspectives. You can’t do it 100% of the time for your child. As much as we want to, we can’t.

I know I could use reminders. Did your recovery from the accident reinforce this lesson?

Well, gee, I was the child for the first six months; my daughter had to take care of me, and that role reversal was wonderful. She had to grow in so many ways.

I have overcome many obstacles and have shown my daughter what resilience means by going through this journey with me.

As a father, has this changed you?

I really understand my position as her father. My responsibility is to teach her how to love, how to be strong, how to overcome. Leading by example has always been important to me. That’s just amplified. My love grew deeper and my conversations with my daughter became more mature. It’s hard for me now to find the fun, goofy version of her dad she had when she was four or eight years old. I’m just trying to find the energy to be a jungle gym dad. But she is only 11 years old.

final thoughts

I can relate! My daughter Eva is 11 years old and she is maturing faster than I sometimes imagine. While she will always be my baby, I have seen the woman she is becoming. What’s even more surprising is that she knows what kind of woman I am. This new understanding deepened our connection in ways I never imagined. Just recently, when her sister asked me to make her a different breakfast, Eva was quick to stop me. “You’ve done too much,” she said. These three words have stuck with me, reminding me every day to slow down. How has your relationship with your children changed as they have grown older?

Until next time,

grace

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