We all want our children to inherit our best genes, but there’s no doubt that they’ll also pick up our worst habits – including our addiction to numbers. After all, adults and kids alike know that when phone screens compete for attention, they win every time. So, what should parents do?
“There are some overarching rules that are important for all kids,” said Laura Ordoñez, executive editor and head of digital media and family advice at Common Sense Media, a nonprofit that Dedicated to evaluating children’s content and working to make media and technology safer and healthier. “Limiting screen time, ensuring access to age-appropriate content and designating times or places where mobile phones are not used can benefit every child and lay the foundation for healthy mobile use.”
TL;DR Backstory
Ordoñez told me that cell phones themselves are not dangerous, but honestly, we don’t fully understand the long-term effects of being constantly connected. What we do know: In the short term, Ordonez said, too much screen time and exposure to inappropriate content can indeed disrupt a child’s mental health.
For young children, unrestricted cell phone use can interfere with important developmental milestones such as real-life socialization and self-regulation. Without the constraints of a cell phone, children may miss out on playtime, sleep, and real-life experiences. Then, there are the battles: How much time do I personally spend getting my 4-year-old away from my phone, then wiping away tears, suppressing screams, and regaining his composure once his limited phone time has expired? That adds up to more than his watch time, FML.
Ordonez noted that teens who are chronically addicted to their phones may develop anxiety, lack of sleep, and an inability to focus on schoolwork and meaningful relationships. Furthermore, it doesn’t help that exposure to online scum can lead to long-term emotional, psychological, and developmental distress, and that teenagers are particularly vulnerable to bullying, FOMO, filters, scammers, and predators.
While it may sound like things are going to be okay as long as phones are around kids, no one is calling for an outright ban on the devices we literally can’t live without. “High-quality educational content [accessed on cell phones] It can help children broaden their learning and worldview,” said Tiffany Munzer, MD, assistant professor of pediatrics in the Division of Developmental Behavioral Pediatrics at the University of Michigan. While social media can cause great harm, it can also provide a foundation for marginalized kids to use social media to find a sense of belonging, community, and even safety. “As long as children have time to play, learn, sleep, interact with others and explore the real world,” Munzer said, “spend some time using digital media.”
Cell phone boundaries by age
Wouldn’t it be nice if experts could agree on the ideal amount of screen time allowed for each age group? Haha, things are really not that simple. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Center of Excellence on Social Media and Adolescent Mental Health recommends considering the 5 Cs to evaluate the risks and benefits of screen time for your specific child:
- Child: Who is your child?
- CContent: What deserves their attention?
- Calms: Can they regulate their mood or fall asleep without a screen?
- CStrike out: What does time spent with media replace?
- CCommunication: Can your child understand the risks and benefits of media and follow instructions responsibly?
Once the 5Cs have been assessed, “setting clear rules about when and how long your children can use these devices can prevent overuse, encourage a balanced lifestyle, and foster a healthy relationship with technology,” Ordoñez says.
Don’t know where to start? These guidelines from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) can give you an idea of how much and what kind of cell phone time is appropriate for any age group. Just know that rules that work for some kids may not work for others, regardless of their age—so accept them, but feel free to adjust them.
Infant: 0-18 months old
Many young children become attracted to devices soon after leaving the womb. (Can you blame them?) But Ordonez said parents shouldn’t acquiesce to phone calls too soon. Before children take their first half-circle around the sun, “prioritize interactive, hands-on activities that support early development,” she said. Their phone calls should be limited to video chats with grandma, who will likely need dimenhydrinate to endure the shaky ride.
Toddler: 18-24 months old
As babies enter the toddler years, experts agree it’s wise to limit screen time, watch high-quality, age-appropriate content, and avoid using your phone as a regular “babysitter.” (oops…)
AACAP says it’s cool to introduce a “limited number” of ~educational programming~ using your phone in the presence of a caregiver between 18 months and 2 years old so you can engage and reinforce the lessons. Go into PBS shows like sesame street and Daniel Tiger. Just don’t press “play” to end a tantrum or calm a cranky child—these are big no-nos because they interfere with your child’s learning to self-soothe and regulate their emotions. And don’t let programming replace regular playtime – it should still be kept to a minimum.
Children: 2-5 years old old
While screens should be turned off during family meals and outings, according to AACAP, children over the age of 2 can increase their total screen time slightly after their second birthday: up to an hour a day is considered acceptable — as long as you take a break from screens Just restore your phone.
But don’t let them go rogue just because they can. As kids become more accustomed to using smartphones, “parents often underestimate how much supervision is needed,” Ordonez said, as I sat in my chair and thought about my 4-year-old surfing the Internet like an adult. So while it’s easier to take a break from parenting as long as your kids have a phone in their hands, it’s a good idea to check in with what they’re watching to make sure it’s appropriate for their age and maturity… and that they haven’t shared the experience with their ex My boyfriend had a Facetime call. (Can you imagine?)
Munzer said consistent media use at predictable times throughout the day can help children maintain some level of control when playing Content Police.
Just don’t get into the habit of rewarding young children with time on the phone, Ordonez warns, which can create a power struggle and make cell phones more popular as every parent crawls under the chair. “Instead, you can view phone use as a responsibility, along with clear expectations for healthy and balanced use, which also allows children to feel more agency,” she says.
Now is also the time to help your kids learn how to use their phones as tools: Try telling stories about what you do on your mobile device — and remember, “I just added bread to our grocery order!” This is better than “BRB, drop it!” Into the TikTok hole!” sounds better.
Older children: 5-10 years old
Ordonez said that as children enter the second half of their first decade, they may begin to demand their own cell phones without actually needing them yet.
That is, “as children get older, they learn more easily from high-quality media,” Munzer points out. in other words? It is not a crime to provide them with limited access to your phone.
Focus on setting firm time limits, which should depend on what your children are doing: once they’ve ticked the boxes for sleep, play, reading, studying, homework, and extracurricular activities, digital media can fill in the remaining time, Mang Ze said. Just continue to monitor content closely so they only use age-appropriate apps and games and not social media, Ordonez said.
What’s the bottom line during this formative period? The key is no Creating a phone-obsessed monster requires encouraging a balance between screen time and other activities like outdoor play, reading, and family time.
Pre-pubescent: 10-14 years
Depending on your child’s situation (see the 5 C’s above), this may be the time you bequeath their first smartphone. But it is not one for all and all for one. “The question of whether a child is ready to use a mobile device is individual,” Munzer stresses. And you don’t want to confuse age with maturity. How well they handle difficult peer situations, which can be amplified on social media; how well they set boundaries and limits for themselves; and their ability to complete school work independently without distractions may influence whether they are formally prepared, she said. good
Once they have their own phone number, set clear rules from the start, such as no cell phones during family dinners, which may interfere with face-to-face interactions, and no cell phones in the bedroom at night, which may have an impact. Identify consequences for breaking the rules, such as temporarily limiting when and where your child can use their phone. But reassure them that they can tell you anything they encounter online and that you’ll work through it together, rather than taking away their phone as punishment; Ordoñez says this builds trust and encourages Open communication.
Speaking of communication, now is a good time to start talking about privacy and online risks—especially if they want to participate in social media. “It’s not like kids are retrained as soon as they turn 13 on how to use these devices responsibly,” Ordoñez reminds us.
Teens: 15-17 years old
Ordoñez said that while teens crave (and need) more independence, phone boundaries are still important to help them develop healthy digital habits. To combine the two, involve your children in setting their own phone boundaries while you continue to monitor the content they consume and produce, especially on social media. A session on screen addiction, cyberbullying and the potential risks of exposure to harmful content? Make sure it’s an ongoing process and not a one-time thing.
At this age, “what they do on their phone is more important than how long they use it,” Ordonez said. “Faceting with friends or family is much different than watching hours of video or mindlessly scrolling through social media. Screen time conflicts can sometimes cause more harm than screen time itself, so emphasize the quality of their screen use.
The key is to keep the lines of communication open. They may be using their phones more than usual when dealing with drama or dealing with a stressful situation with a friend – so talk to them and help address the root cause.
If you notice your child always On their phone? Look at your own habits. “If you’re always on your phone, they’re probably going to do the same thing,” Ordonez said in a final appeal. “It’s also good to be open and honest with them when you make a mistake or are unhappy with your phone habits, so they know learning healthy phone habits is a process.”
A word about ~other~ screens
The core principles for setting boundaries on mobile, such as limiting mature content and establishing time limits, apply to all screens, from TVs to tablets to game consoles. Ordoñez said, however, that because mobile phones offer such a wide range of content and enable social interaction, they need tighter restrictions. So put on your nursery pants.
