One of the benefits of adulthood is the freedom to make your own choices. Should I go to the gym or sleep for another 30 minutes? Should I spend that birthday check or save it? Should I cook or order delivery? It’s empowering, but also exhausting. So it’s no wonder we sometimes crave hard and fast rules about parenting. Just tell me what to do. But after two decades of social media life, even the experts don’t have all the answers.
In fact, it all starts with a seemingly simple question: When will my child be old enough to have an account?
“I just edited a book on this issue, but as a parent I still struggle with it,” said Vicki Harrison, program director of the Stanford Center for Adolescent Mental Health and Well-being, part of the Stanford University School of Medicine. said the doctor. “I wish there was a magic number.”
It’s almost a given that today’s teens use at least one social platform—at least 95 percent of them do, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). But preteens (also known as “teens”) are catching up: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services also says that nearly 40% of children ages 8 to 12 use social media. Most platforms require users to be 13 or older, but there are some easy ways to get around the rules.
Experts are worried as rates of depression, anxiety and other mental health challenges related to social media continue to rise. A great deal of brain development occurs before the age of 25. Last year, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy called for Surgeon General recommendations to be posted on social media, warning that “there is growing evidence that social media use is associated with psychological changes in young people.” related to health damage.
Marriage and family therapist Dr. Jenn Mann, ” AZ Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Childrensaying this is all relative. “You want your child to be the last kid in the class to have social media,” she said. “It’s much easier to exclude children than to monitor and supervise them once they are exposed.”
However, access does not have to be all or nothing. This might mean letting your child use an app or only allowing them to use social media during set times of the day. This way, you can understand the situation before relaxing the rules. The goal is for technology to complement children’s social lives, not replace it.
“If a young person is still engaging in all the same hobbies, having face-to-face interactions, spending time outdoors, but also having fun with friends by texting or playing online games, that’s a holistic approach,” Harrison said. He also co-edited the new Social media and adolescent mental health guide.
Although the solution seems simple, completely prohibiting children from creating their own accounts is not realistic in today’s world. Schools, athletic teams, and extracurricular groups often use social media as a central hub for messaging, scheduling, photos, and more. “It’s not just entertainment anymore,” Harrison said. “It’s really integrated into many aspects of our lives.”
Even if parents ban social media at home, children will still be exposed to social media at school or with friends. The fear of ostracism only adds to the pressure to join.
“Kids socialize and make connections online,” Mann said. “Your child [can] Missing out on a huge portion of social interaction during those years is a challenge for that child.
Instead, experts say it’s best for parents to prepare their children for the responsibilities that come with using social media in a digital-first world, and to be prepared if their children encounter questionable content.
Thankfully, there are laws to protect children. The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) sets federal standards for websites or online services targeted at children under 13 and for other websites that knowingly collect information from children under 13. (SAFE), a first-in-the-nation law aimed at protecting children from “a stream of algorithm-driven information that promotes unhealthy levels of engagement.”
So when kids bring up this topic, hear them out. Can’t they easily access class notes? Did they miss all their friends’ TikTok dances?
“Kids will base their requests on what their friends are doing,” Mann said. “As a parent, it’s up to you to decide what’s in their best interest.”
