Choosing your baby’s name can be both exciting and stressful. After all, it’s one of the first big and lasting decisions you’ll make for your child. Their name is likely to stay with them throughout their lives, so parents make their decision thoughtfully and carefully. But even if you try really hard to find the “perfect” name, sometimes it just doesn’t work. In fact, earlier this summer, The Baby Center surveyed more than 450 mothers of children ages 5 and under and found that nearly one in 10 wanted to choose a different name for their baby.
According to surveys, many moms who regret their choice of name develop this feeling at some point in their first year. After that, only about 6% started to reconsider. (So, if you have a toddler or older, congratulations, you probably made a wise choice!)
But it’s not all dire news. Many people found a workaround—20 percent said they preferred a nickname (usually a shorter version of their legal name, but not always). While using a middle name as a first name can sometimes be controversial, 15 percent of moms said they preferred their child’s middle name.
As many respondents (15%) said, someone blatantly criticized or even laughed at their child’s name (sidebar: Who do this? However, there are far fewer people who actually change their children’s names through legal means, only about 6%. As someone who had his name legally changed as a child, I understand: It’s a process, and the sooner you start, the better, especially since babies begin to recognize their own names between 4 and 9 months old.
So, how can we avoid regretting our baby’s name? A 2020 Mumsnet survey surveyed more than 1,000 UK parents Why They regretted their choice of name and found the number one reason was that they felt the name was too common (25%). Others (20%) regretted giving in to pressure to use a specific name, and 11% said they regretted choosing a name that was difficult to pronounce or spell.
With that in mind, consider keeping an eye on naming trends by browsing the Social Security Administration website, which is both user-friendly and really fun! Also, don’t shy away from having the hard conversation with your partner (or anyone else) about why you can’t accept the name they really want you to use. If you foresee spelling or pronunciation being a problem, try talking to other people with that name and see what their lives are like with that particular name or spelling. (If the name is invented or very unusual, maybe try talking to other people with similarly unique names.)
But be warned: 32% regretted the name for reasons they couldn’t help — either it just didn’t feel right (21%) or it wasn’t right for their child (11%). The good news, though, is that the vast majority of people do no Regret the name they choose for their child, so if you’re waiting and still thinking about your child’s name, relax and go with your gut. Chances are you’ll always love what you choose.
