It’s starting to feel a lot like Christmas as advertisers step up their campaigns and give us images of perfect families enjoying perfect holiday festivities. As a single parent, it’s not uncommon to feel bouts of anxiety during this time. Christmas is commercially known as “family time,” and if your Christmas isn’t a rigid routine, it’s not just Christmas shopping that’s causing you stress.
With the pressure of making sure your important little person in the world has the best Christmas possible, you might not mind having a little fun yourself.
Those days of wondering whether to make or buy mince pies are well and truly over as you deal with the logistics of Christmas co-parenting, and there may be worries about money and old-fashioned stuff if you fail to replicate the Christmas in the Aldi advert Feelings of guilt.
Well, it’s time to let go of unrealistic expectations and accept that your Christmas gift might be a little different than usual, but it’ll be just as good. As long as the gifts are wrapped and the kids are happy, you’re successful.
Here are 10 super simple tips to help single moms survive Christmas.
Further reading: 5 tips to stop your narcissistic ex from ruining Christmas.
10 Tips for Surviving Christmas as a Single Mom
1. Clear communication
If you are having trouble communicating with your child’s father, now is the time to address it. There is no room for error on this crucial day.
Plan ahead. If done verbally, confirm via text message or email. And reconfirmed a day or two before.
Better yet, incorporate Christmas arrangements into your parenting plans as they will dictate what happens, eliminating possible confusion and the need for communication. The less communication there is, the less opportunity there is for disagreement.
Further reading: 12 tips for successfully sharing Christmas as co-parents.
2. Protect your kids from scary questions
Depending on your child’s age, don’t ask them who they want to spend Christmas with. They will be crushed by the weight of indecision, guilt, and worry that is not their burden. Unless your children are old enough to make informed, stress-free choices, you’re making decisions to ensure they have a happy and memorable day.
Don’t be fooled, our beautiful children often say what they think we want to hear, rather than what they really want to hear. (Of course you can do this, but prepare for Christmas separately.) Christmas is too important to risk. I swear you’ll avoid major holiday disappointment.
3. Santa Claus and his satnav
Young children living between two homes may understandably be confused and upset by Santa’s arrival.
Don’t ignore their concerns. Take a moment to explain that Santa knows exactly where all the children sleep, even if it changes at the last minute. You can even use an app to organize your children to get personalized messages from Santa… and what could be more reassuring than a message from Santa himself?
Think ahead and don’t let worries invade their magical childhood.
How to spend Christmas as a single mom (continued)
4. Seek help from some friendly elves
Christmas is a time of kindness, so be sure to accept whatever happens to you.
Older children can help by wrapping gifts and decorating the house for younger children. Ask a friend to buy you something during their Christmas shopping.
And, if possible, delegate some tasks to their fathers. Make a list and remind him that this is a team effort.
5. Don’t go over your Christmas budget
Family budgets and the holidays seem to be sworn enemies, don’t they? But with some careful planning and determination, there are plenty of ways to have a cheap and enjoyable Christmas.
Create a budget for gifts and gifts for the day, and stick to it. Withdraw your Christmas shopping money from the bank and store it in a separate wallet so you can track your spending. Buy Christmas gifts online and take advantage of free delivery and price comparisons. The holidays are a death trap for impulse buying, so figure out how much you can spend and lock in that amount—no explanation, no apology.
I remember my first Christmas as a single parent. To compensate for the heartache my kids are going through, this means the January household budget disappears! Don’t buy tons of luxury food just to make the day perfect. Everyone eats chocolate and mince pies anyway. Special meals don’t have to be expensive. Finally, it’s important to take the time to have Christmas dinner together.
6. Choose the right gift
Money can be tight, so don’t waste it on unnecessary stress.
Make sure your kids make a Christmas list for Santa (or a wish list for older kids). Let them start preparing six weeks in advance and put ideas aside as they come up with them. It will be more accurate and you can start your Christmas shopping earlier.
Make sure your children clearly understand the idea of giving gifts based on your abilities. Children may even have visions of something grand they want, so it’s important to set clear boundaries and expectations up front. Encourage them to openly discuss their feelings when making gift-giving decisions. You may hear some whining and groaning at first, but this is one way to reduce the cost of your gift.
Remember, you don’t need to keep up with what the Jones family and others have in store for their kids. Focus on your kids and your budget and buy accordingly.
Single Mom’s Tips for How to Survive Christmas Continues
7. Create new family traditions
If Christmas just doesn’t seem right anymore, start some new holiday traditions that you and your kids can continue throughout the years. Create some new traditions that incorporate activities everyone wants to keep your holiday in order.
Make different snacks for Rudolph on Christmas Eve, have a special breakfast or watch a specific holiday movie. With your child’s guidance, keep up with the things they love to do at Christmas. And, make sure you don’t waste time on a variety of activities that fit into your schedule. Make arrangements for younger children and plenty of downtime for older children.
New traditions are fun and will make your new Christmas more familiar, comfortable, and easier to manage.
8. Spend the day with the kids…not in the kitchen
Don’t get carried away with careful meal planning for the big day. Let’s face it, we’ve all had our share of naughty Christmas gifts no matter what.
Keep it light and cheat!
Take advantage of the vast range of products available in supermarkets such as pre-assembled platters, ready-to-go grilled meats, prepared vegetables and salads. Online grocery stores ensure you stay within your budget and avoid the crowds. Oh, and if you have guests coming, make sure they don’t come empty-handed.
Your kids would much rather you check out their new gift with them than watch you slogging over a meal on the stove because they’re too stuffed with chocolate to eat.
Further reading: What to do if you’re alone with your kids on Christmas Day.
9. Documenting Christmas as a Single Mom
Make sure you get some really good photos of the day.
Then frame a picture somewhere everyone looks particularly happy and place it strategically throughout your home. This will be a constant reminder to your kids (and you) that even though Christmas is different now, it’s still a really fun time.
10.Wish me a Merry Christmas
When you’ve learned about 9 ways single moms can spend the holidays, remember that this is your Christmas, too. Use this day to relax. It’s important to take a step back and give yourself some much-needed care.
It’s important for your children to see that the day isn’t all about them. Put them into the spirit of giving and receiving by arranging small gifts they can give you.
And if your kids aren’t with you on Christmas Day, make plans so you don’t feel frustrated. Arrange to meet friends or family, volunteer, or read a trashy novel to enjoy some peace and quiet. Give yourself some love and enjoy some quiet time. Personally, after going through so much, I made the positive decision not to make my holidays sad again.
As a single mom, my final thoughts on Christmas
Amid the holiday hustle and bustle, remember this: Once you become a single mom, you are already a superhero in your children’s eyes. Christmas can bring its own unique set of challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to create wonderful memories and show your children the true meaning of love and resilience.
Get rid of the pressure to conform to unrealistic standards. Accept the fact that your Christmas may look a little different, but it will be just as special. Your clear communication and well-thought-out plan will help navigate the maze of co-parenting, ensuring a smoother vacation. Free your children from the burden of difficult decisions and let them revel in the magic of the day.
Santa will find his way and friendly elves (friends and family) are available to lend a helping hand. Stick to your budget, focus on meaningful gifts, and create new traditions that reflect your family’s uniqueness. Spend quality time with your kids instead of slaving away in the kitchen and capture those precious moments.
Remember, this is your Christmas too. Take a moment to relax and appreciate your dedication. Whether your children are with you or not, please cherish this holiday in your own way.
This Christmas, celebrate the strength and love of your family and let the joy of the season fill your heart.
Merry Christmas!
