Like many of us, I have very fond childhood memories of family activities in every season: rolling in the grass at the local pick-and-roll farm in the summer, apple orchards in the fall, and Christmas tree hunts in the fall. Every year, people argue over how many berries are needed to make the perfect pie, or whose turn it is to swing that giant apple-picking pole. That’s part of the fun. Living at home means driving fast, baking unhurriedly, and staying long. After any given seasonal experience, I happily doze off in my own bed and count the days until we can do it again next year.
It’s no surprise that when I moved to New York for college, I had an insatiable quest to take advantage of everything the city had to offer (stop me if you’ve heard this before). Theatre, concerts, restaurants – my wish list is growing by the minute. To further compete with myself, I quickly realized that I needed an entirely separate “Christmas” holiday wish list.
Soon, my list was as long as St. Nick’s Naughty or Nice inventory. My desired vacation experiences include ice skating, watching the Rockettes, going nutcracker Visiting Lincoln Center (thanks to student fares), shopping in any kind of “Winter Village,” admiring the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree…all the big things.
But there are also things I “have to say”: seeing a jazz band play holiday classics, lining up in front of the Macy’s window with everyone else in New York, and seeing a Christmas tree other than the one at Rockefeller Center. If I spend Christmas in New York, I have to go all out.
Nearly 20 years later, I look back in amazement. One, how much energy I have. But really, it’s just how I go to great lengths to do everything — even the things I don’t really care about — to fill my Christmas cup.
Nowadays, I’m still in the city, but with a family of my own, it takes a lot more effort to coordinate any seasonal travel. because children. But also because I live in a different state from my parents and don’t have a car. To recreate the magic of those hectic seasons of my youth, I needed to rent a car, take a trip, and rush out to beat the traffic. It’s overwhelming.
Four years ago, during the pandemic and postpartum period, I couldn’t muster the energy to go on a family Apple Day trip in the fall. At the time, I felt truly heartbroken: Was my favorite tradition now forever ruined, like the ninth apple rotting on the counter when I finally got around to eating it?
No, it just means things are different now.
This year is the second time we have missed this trip. It was a busy season. Not only did we have school stuff, but my husband and I also had a destination wedding that we had been looking forward to all year. My parents took my daughter apple picking while we were away. I wonder if they didn’t tell me until afterward because they didn’t want to make me feel bad. at first i was Frustrated. Then I realized that if I couldn’t get her through the day, I was glad they could.
My wish list is much shorter these days (especially around Christmas). Like one or two things long. Take a photo with Santa Claus? Sign me up for local tree lighting? Sure, maybe I’ll see you there. Otherwise, we just stay home—a far cry from my old winters of trying to cram every possible seasonal activity into a few months.
I know now that trying to fit fun into every night and every minute of the weekend loses the whole ~taste of the season~ vibe. I think it’s important for my little girl to see me enjoying the holidays with her. With all the adult responsibilities that come with the start of the season, all I want for Christmas is to put on some ridiculous pom pom socks and sit somewhere. Because in those quiet moments, they have their own holiday magic: Introduce to your kids home alonereminiscing about Christmas souvenirs, devouring Reese’s shaped like a Christmas tree.
So here’s the license I give myself and you: You don’t have to do all the seasonal stuff. Make time to appreciate one or two favorite things, because if you try to fit them all in, there won’t be much room for joy. I wanted to free up as much space as possible – for joy, of course, but also to store store-bought Christmas cookies.
When Meredith Begley isn’t practicing her drums or folding sweatpants, she enjoys reading and writing about health and wellness. Find her on Instagram @meredithbegley.
