I have a friend who works from home. She holed up in her office upstairs while her children roamed the main floor under the watchful eyes of a nanny or grandparents. Despite getting help during the day, she still heard every cry. Every whine. Every quarrel between her children. She helps prepare lunch. She walks with her children. She is the default parent.
Her husband works in an office in a neighboring town 30 minutes away. However, when he comes home from get off work, he goes to the garage to exercise or drink beer. He needs time alone. He had a hard time working. Do we see anything seriously wrong with this photo?
A dad and podcaster is pleading with parents no By default, parents view commuting as a good break—a time to decompress from a stressful work environment and prepare mentally and physically for parenting.
“If anyone says commuting is not a break, I can assure you that you are not the default parent at home with the kids, on the weekends, or anytime. You are not the default parent,” husband, father, and TikTok content creator Jimmy Knowles ( Jimmy Knowles explains. mom’s room Podcast hosted by Renee Renner.
“I promise you. Because by default parents will 100% think this is a break.
Rayner chimed in: “If you don’t think about commuting breaks, you’re lucky because some people do think it’s a break when you’re at home with kids.”
Knowles continued, “As men, we can’t do that. It’s not 1940 anymore. Like, don’t go home, you need decompression time. The time you drive home is decompression time. That’s 30 minutes. You don’t have any babies crawling at you, you don’t have any snacks to hand out, and you don’t have to make dinner.
Can we go one step further and say that working away from home is also a form of rest? You can chat with other adults. You can eat lunch without anyone grabbing your sandwich. You can’t go more than 8 hours without being a parent! This is the rest of all rests!
Some TikTok users agreed with the podcaster and shared their own opinions.
“I’m the default parent. Sometimes my break starts from the moment I tie her to the car door, walk around the car and get in myself. 😅😅,” one user said.
Another wrote: “My husband and I had this conversation when our kids were barely 5 years old. I said, ‘I would sit alone in traffic for 40 minutes listening to a podcast!
Other parents completely disagree with this approach.
“Default here My parents and I commuting home is definitely not a break. It’s probably my most stressful time of the day. Rushing home to work the second shift and missing my long distance days. Hate my commute, but it’s so easy ,” one mother pointed out.
Another said: “I don’t agree with this. I’m the default parent and rush hour driving is stressful.”
Another netizen commented: “By default, parents have a long commute. It’s not a break, it’s just a different pressure. I have to plan my family life during the long commute, and I miss a lot of time where I’m needed.”
