Ebony K. Williams doesn’t give a shit about rules. She never has. After graduating high school at age 16, she played by her own rules and became a first-generation college graduate. When she left a stable legal career to pursue a career in television news, she played by her own rules. When she accepted the job at Fox News, it was despite disagreeing with some of the network’s political views. When she joined Bravo real housewives of new york citybecoming the series’ first black actor.
“Beating the odds, breaking the statistics — breaking stereotypes has always been very important to me,” she said. So when she decided to become a mother, of course she had to do it on her own terms, on her own schedule. As she began single parenthood, she noticed she wasn’t the only Black woman publicly demonstrating how to have children on her own terms.
There are her companions housewife Alumna Candiace Dillard Bassett talks about her IVF journey during her college years real housewives of potomac — Just a reminder, everyone’s fertility journey can be different. Singer Ashanti married rapper Nelly while she was pregnant with their first child, proving you can check off life’s milestones (or not!) in any order you like. There are countless other women, from Gabrielle Union to Kandi Burruss to Naomi Campbell, who have expanded their lives through stepparenting and surrogacy A family of one’s own – This illustrates that motherhood doesn’t have to be a certain way.
Now, Williams hopes to expand the possibilities for women like her by freely sharing her life with a baby born in August. “Part of the purpose of everything I do, especially this part of my life and this journey, is to challenge social and cultural norms associated with black women, black mothers, and single black mothers,” she said. “I think these three structures are fragile. I by no means think I’m equipped to take on this work. But I do think I’m in a good position to challenge how people view these things and how they will be viewed in the future.
“I know myself well, and I don’t like group projects. I enjoy the freedom of being an executive decision-maker.
On Election Day, Williams and I chatted via Zoom. We’re waiting to know whether the country will choose to be led by someone who looks like us—even though we almost already know the answer. Yet despite the thick political atmosphere, the conversation went well. We finished talking to each other and laughed like a family. In addition to both being girl moms, we also learned that we are both members of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority, a historically black Greek organization to which Vice President Kamala Harris is considered a member. Williams even wore pink and green, the sorority colors; Lady Liberty was strapped to her chest, sleeping peacefully. I ask with the sincerity of one mother to another: Are you OK?
“Everything — and there’s a little asterisk — is good,” she said.
The 41-year-old is at the end of her fourth month of pregnancy and is still adjusting to her new role as a parent. “I’ve never been the kind of girl or woman who always harbored maternal fantasies,” she says in the firm, steady voice of someone born to be on television. Her professional identity became more natural. She froze her eggs at age 34, but not because she was seriously considering having children with her then-partner, or even having children at all. “I do it for exercise,” she said with a laugh. “To me, it’s not that different from buying a Birkin bag. It’s an act of power. The power of saying: I have a choice.
But things have changed for Williams during the pandemic. She has been married and divorced once, ending her engagement to businessman Steven Glenn in August 2020. At the same time, with the encouragement of her therapist, she found her biological father. The two had a 10-minute conversation in which he acknowledged the paternity but requested no further relations. For many women, and even more black women, these circumstances—lack of a partner, broken family relationships—will push them further away from parenthood. For Williams, they pulled her toward that goal. About 18 months later, she decided to go ahead with the pregnancy through in vitro fertilization.
“I’m really a moth attracted to the fire.”
It started with discovering a group on social media called Single Mothers for Choice. “I didn’t expect that,” she said. “Like most people, when I hear ‘single mom,’ I think tragic. I thought poverty. I thought, ‘Your child is going to end up in prison and be a danger to society. potential option, it becomes First choice options. “I know myself well, and I don’t like group projects,” she laughs. “I enjoy the responsibility and freedom of being an executive decision-maker. I need to have complete authority and act in the way I think is best.
For friends like Natalie Robinson, this isn’t surprising. He has always been with her on the road. “Eboni is the ultimate risk-taker and go-getter – someone who is always thinking ahead, full of ideas and ready to jump in. I can always count on her to open her Notes app and share her next big plan,” Robinson said. “If she’s thinking about something, she may have already made up her mind, but she still values my perspective and wants to hear what I think.”
Williams was also inspired by the way the women in the group didn’t close the door to love. Many black women are told by their mothers and the media that they must choose their own priorities─such as marriage or Profession. But the group made it clear that having a baby doesn’t mean she has to give up looking for a partner. “It’s a wild-card scenario, ‘If I tell you you can get financial [stability]you can still get the maternal part, and Doesn’t that mean you completely eliminate the possibility of a love story?
In a way, her choice to continue this process is no different than any other major life decision she’s made, whether it’s working at Fox News or becoming a stay-at-home mom.
“I’m really a moth attracted to the fire,” she said. “I felt it was my responsibility to redefine and subvert it. I felt that this choice was in line with my mission to do things that I shouldn’t be doing.
IVF feels like a game of roulette; Williams’ first try worked: She had an egg, produced a healthy embryo, and a successful transfer resulted in conception. “I personally take issue with high-profile celebrities using their platforms to tell half of their fertility stories,” she said. “That’s one of the reasons I’m so transparent. We need to be honest about the possibilities, and we need to be honest about the complexity.
Williams gave herself the shot—”I’m not a punk,” as she says, when it comes to pain—and would have given birth alone had it not been for her college friend’s insistence on staying in town. choose. She is pleased with the care team she has assembled; her OB-GYN and doula are both Black women. But she remains wary of any medical interventions that she believes may be more in the hospital’s best interests than hers or her daughter’s. Liberty Alexandria Williams was born on August 13 after Williams was induced and in labor for 45 hours.
“I [froze my eggs] as a bend. To me, it’s not that different from buying a Birkin bag. It was a power move.
Williams shared the importance of the Statue of Liberty in an Instagram post, recounting its origins as a tribute to formerly enslaved Black Americans. She told me that the name was an invitation to her daughter to live a life without restrictions and exercise the freedoms given to her. “I brought her into a world where she was free,” she said. “Her ability to remain free will be her job.”
The transition to motherhood is not without its challenges. Williams admitted she was struggling with some of the changes in her body after giving birth. “But I know enough and have lived long enough to know if this is one of my biggest challenges, I’m very lucky,” she said with a laugh. She hired a night nurse to help out five days a week, and although she didn’t have a group project mentality, she relied on her inner circle. “What was really special was her belief in the village,” Robinson said. “She is not overbearing but embraces the support around her because she knows that raising children requires the support of a community. Watching her play this role is so inspiring.
Williams’ biggest adjustment, however, has been a new sense of self. Growing up, Williams watched her grandmother Katie take care of white children while Williams’ mother worked and built her own business. “Caregiver” and “breadwinner” are different jobs — and Williams, as a black woman, has been working where women before her couldn’t, and she’s still learning how to combine the two. “God forced me to have this identity conflict and crisis,” she said. “[I’ve] Did what I wanted to do on my terms and it was like an ultimate boss act on some level. On another level, I still somehow ended up being a helper. The first few weeks were really, really difficult for me.
Williams found comfort in one of her favorite movies: go with the wind. She paid close attention to Hattie McDaniel’s role as Mom – a role for which McDaniel made history as the first black actor to win an Oscar. “I really started to unravel the story: Even though mom was the ultimate helper, she was also the biggest boss in the family,” Williams said. “She was the most controlling and responsible one.”
More changes are brewing. Liberty will soon enter language immersion day care three days a week. This summer, Williams put her Harlem home on the market. (As if moving to New York without a newborn wasn’t hard enough.) It’s a brand new season for Eboni, and she’s welcoming it with open arms. When she becomes a mother, her life doesn’t need to look a certain way – why start following the rules now? She could date without the burden of finding a co-parent; she could combine her parenting and professional lives in a way she’d never seen before. In fact, freedom liberated her mother.
“I don’t want to inadvertently limit who I am,” she said. “I’m open to surprises. Let God surprise me. Show me something!
Photo by Jason Rogers
Set Designer: Maisie Sattler
hair and makeup: T. Cooper
Talent Booking: Special Projects
Production: Kiara Brown
Associate Director of Photos and Reservations: Jackie Ladner
Editor-in-Chief: Kate Auletta
Senior Vice President of Fashion: Tiffany Reed
Senior Vice President of Creative: Karen Hibbert
