Have you ever had one of those moments when someone told you exactly what you needed to hear, just when you needed to hear it? Well, that’s basically what Maria (aka MomMom Maria) does on TikTok. Maria posts about being a Generation X Grandma. Specifically, she focuses on the boundaries and rules that grandparents must follow if they wish to have good relationships with their adult children and grandchildren. Honestly, even as a person have Having a good relationship with my parents, I found this emotion from my grandmother incredibly cathartic. Take, for example, a recent post she called an “estranged grandparent.”
“If you’re a grandparent and you choose not to see your grandchild — and I’m not talking about people who live far away… but if you choose not to see your grandchild more than a few times a year, that’s you. It’s all up to you. I don’t even have anything good to say about those grandparents,” she began. Her real message is for grandparents who don’t have access to their grandchildren.
“Grandparents stay away from their grandchildren, stay away from their children’s parents—like ‘fired moms’ and ‘estranged grandparents.’ You know why,” she said simply. “Stop playing the victim. Stop acting like you don’t know [why]they are just ‘so unreasonable’ you don’t know why they keep you away from your grandchildren: you know why.
Honestly, playing this on loop every night puts me to sleep.
“Whatever the reason is, you already know it, and you don’t want to fix it, you probably still don’t want to fix it,” she continued. “It’s more important for the rest of the family, your friends, and Facebook to be the victim of this and I’ve had enough. I’ve gotten a lot of comments from these grandparents on my other grandparents’ videos and they act like It’s like they don’t know why they can’t be a part of their grandchild’s life. Do Know. You do.
The news struck a chord in the comments section. Many commenters jokingly and sadly asked Mariah to send the message to their parents. Many people shared stories of their own parents and in-laws who made no real effort to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives.
“mine [mother-in-law] She would cry to everyone she couldn’t see my children with. But she hasn’t invited us over or on vacation in years, hasn’t asked to come to our house or asked to see them in any way,” one of them replied.
“My mom moved three hours away from us ‘to be closer’ and she was angry because we (a family of five) didn’t come to see her very often. She was retired and had nothing but time, but no Will come to see us “It’s been a year. “
The comment with the most replies was from someone defending the estranged grandparents of TikTok user @Suzy.Q.Gross.
“Maybe you need to know what parents say about their parents,” the comment read. “You shouldn’t judge some grandparents.”
Maria knew nothing about it. “My theme is irresponsible grandparents,” she answered. “If you think the focus should be elsewhere, make your own TikTok.” Others were quick to point out that while Suzy emphasized in a follow-up comment that she was “always great with my grandchildren,” there was one The omission is significant.
“What about your kids or their spouses?” one commenter asked. “Are you so nice to them? Do you respect their rules, or do you decide to do what you want because you’re a grandparent?
Ultimately, here’s the rub: The grandparent/grandchild relationship depends first and foremost on the relationship between parent and child (or in-laws and child’s partner). Mom was right to stress (time and time again) that everyone needs to start here before moving on to the next generation.
