Conflict between parents and grandparents over the best way to raise children has been around for as long as grandparents themselves. Sometimes it can be funny: “You bought them that toy just because they looked at it in the store? Where were these women when I was a kid begging?” But some things can also get downright troublesome. , for example, it’s hard for grandparents to follow their parents’ rules. TikTok user @mommom.maria frequently posts about becoming a grandmother, offering advice to grandparents who disagree with their children’s parenting choices.
“If I disagree with every little decision my daughter makes for her children, I usually don’t say anything,” she began. “Sometimes I can’t control myself. It gets to the point where I can’t help it anymore and I have to say something.
“Mom Mama” (which, by the way, is a common term for “grandma” in southern New Jersey) went on to explain that her granddaughter Prue, 13 months old, drinks two bottles a day, one in the morning and one at night. “The other night, my husband and I were babysitting and my daughter said to put the milk in before bed.” She then showed off a sippy cup with a straw. “I said no because in my mind she’s still a baby! She’s 13 months old. She’s just a baby! But it’s not my decision. I’m not the decision-maker. I’m not a mom: I’m a mom, mom, privilege Mommy can take care of her.
So she gave it to the little guy and everything went well. Prue didn’t fuss or ask for a bottle: she just drank milk from her special sippy cup.
“So I think my daughter is right, and that’s exactly what I want to say to other grandmothers,” Mama concluded. “You don’t have to agree, but you have to do it.”
Needless to say, the commenters here are mostly Millennial and Gen Z moms. for. this. Message. Some people expressed wishing their parents were more “mom-mom,” while others said they were grateful their own mom-turned-grandmothers behaved similarly.
“I was getting ready for a fight, but I’m glad I sided with my grandma and respected their kid’s decision,” one comment read.
Another said: “To the generation that thinks we as ‘young’ parents don’t know what we’re doing, please speak up.”
A third simply replied: “You are such a breath of fresh air.”
Everyone involved has good intentions when deciding what’s best for the baby, so it can be difficult to admit that, especially for grandparents who may feel like they’re not only protecting their grandchild, but of original babies are protected from harm. They may also feel defensive about the choices they make in their parenting. So what about grandparents taking a step back, letting go, and realizing that the judgment of the children they’re raising can be trusted? This is impressive.
