How to deal with senior year stress, experts say

Returning to school often brings with it mixed emotions for parents and students, but for teens heading into their senior years, the anticipation of the final months of high school can be especially emotional and, for many, stressful. big.

Today’s teens often report higher levels of stress and anxiety than ever before, which is no surprise considering the pressures they face: managing college application deadlines, weighing the soaring cost of higher education, balancing advanced coursework with extracurricular activities The added workload and navigating the changes of high school friendships is often through the filter of social media.

Senior year is a unique experience

Hannah Keeley is a motherhood coach, author, and podcast host who has first-hand experience with the stress of senior year as she is currently navigating this transition with her daughter.

“Senior year is very stressful for students,” she said. “One chapter is closing and another is opening. That transition comes with a lot of insecurity and overwhelm. Plus, they’re facing a deadline to complete everything they’ve planned to accomplish over the past four years. It can be frustrating. It feels very intimidating.

Howard Y. Liu, MD, MBA, is an adult, child, and adolescent psychiatrist, chairman of the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Nebraska Medical Center School of Medicine, and a parent of adolescents.

In his practice, he frequently interacts with high school students and points out several ways in which the new school year is particularly motivating for high school students.

uncertain future

The previous school year may be a return to familiarity, especially after the disruption caused by the pandemic. However, students entering their senior years often face uncertainty about what to do next after graduation.

“If they are not sure whether they will be able to go to college or get a job, they often feel ‘left behind’ and uncertain, while their peers are celebrating,” Dr. Liu said.

As a rising junior, Mercedes Korngut, co-founder of Small Bits of Happiness, has begun preparing for her senior year in high school. In addition to the uncertainty of life after high school, the stress of making so many decisions for the future can be overwhelming, she said.

“It’s very stressful to think that the decisions you make when you’re 16 or 17 have ripple effects for the next five to 10 years of your life,” she said.

“When you’re still trying to figure out who you are, what your values ​​are, what you enjoy in life and what your purpose is, you need to make a lot of decisions, which is something most people still struggle with after work. A big problem to solve.

Making all of these decisions in the context of social media can also be particularly difficult. Gabriella Morales, a graduating senior from Chicago, Ill., said it’s hard not to get caught up in the comparison game.

“In this day and age, with so many people sharing their college experiences online, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing lifestyles with those on your phone,” she said.

Transitions can be painful

Dr. Liu noted that this time can be particularly difficult because high school friendships and romantic relationships may disappear once you enter college.

“[This] It can leave older adults feeling lonely and sometimes isolated in a year when they expect ‘this is going to be the best year ever,'” Dr. Liu said.

Morales admits she worries about losing touch with her friends back home, especially given the distance they will be apart from as she prepares to go to college in Pennsylvania.

“My friends and I were attending a lot of different schools across the country, and I was worried that once college started we wouldn’t have time to spend together,” she shared.

Extracurricular activities are coming to an end

In addition to changing relationship dynamics, many seniors are facing the end of the social group activities they participated in throughout high school.

“Many people use extracurricular activities as a mechanism to cope with the stress of school and life, which can lead to a sense of drifting or loss of community,” Dr. Liu said.

This sense of finality can cause additional stress for teenagers, Korngut said.

“There’s a whole concept of ‘opening all the doors,’ but as you go through your last years of high school, you also feel like some doors are closing. You can’t do all the extracurriculars, you can’t do all Of course, you can’t do everything, so you really have to start picking and choosing.

Family, Finances and World Events

Dr. Liu reminds parents that many students are also grappling with adult issues, such as financial and family pressures, as well as growing awareness of world events and crises, often for the first time.

“Parents and seniors have to decide whether college is affordable and whether their children will need to pay rent or additional fees to work after graduation,” he said.

“Many elders [also] Get distressed about today’s issues, from climate to elections to global conflicts.

It’s important to remember that BIPOC and LGBTQ+ students also often face additional pressures that their classmates may not, especially during the college selection process, said Pamela Ellis, MBA, PhD, and founder of Compass College Counseling Center.

“Instead of [only] Finding a place where I felt safe “where I felt celebrated rather than tolerated,” she said, noting that parents can feel this pressure, too.

“It’s a different worry when you’re worried about safety rather than whether they’re making friends.”

How parents can help

While many parents’ instinct may be to eliminate stressors from their teens’ lives, Keeley reminds us that healthy stress levels can actually play a role in many ways.

“As parents, we have to remember that stress is not always a bad thing,” Keeley said. “When things get out of control, things get ugly. The greatest thing we can do for our children is not to help them escape stress, but to manage it appropriately. Feel the anxiety, but face it, Calm yourself down, get over it, and come out the other side.

Dr. Liu encourages parents to lower the threshold for seeking outside help if they are concerned that their children may be struggling more than normal. Common signs of stress may include decreased ability to focus on schoolwork or manage workload, decreased relationships and interactions with peers or family members, self-isolation, difficulty sleeping and changes in appetite, Dr. Liu noted.

“If you notice something isn’t right, or your child isn’t willing to talk to you about their problems, often a primary care doctor can help find a mental health specialist,” Dr. Liu says. “Most mental health illnesses are treatable, and the sooner your child gets care, the better.”

Adapt to supporting roles

Dr. Ellis believes that one of the best things parents can do as teenagers go through these transitions is to give their seniors as much control as possible.

“This may sound completely counterintuitive, but one of the things I hear a lot from students is the desire for independence,” she said. While it may feel difficult at first, she reminds parents that it can be helpful to remember that it’s the teen who’s going to college, not them.

“Let them take ownership and let them know you trust them, you support them, you’re on their side,” she said. “A lot of things in their world don’t tell them that.”

That doesn’t mean you need to lower your standards or stop encouraging your kids to do their best, but Dr. Ellis reminds parents that it’s okay to be sensitive to the competition in the college admissions process and not “use it to influence your kids.”

“You can relate to the fact that colleges are looking at test scores,” she said. “But when you drive your kids to constantly be tested, you send a signal to them that they’re not good enough.”

drop school talk

Korngut said one of the best things her parents taught her through this experience was that her worth was not determined by the college selection process. For parents and teens, she says, there’s a lot of value in taking a step back from the school to-do list, especially if your child seems particularly stressed at the moment.

Whether it’s taking a family walk, going to the playground together, or going to the movies, refocusing your attention on your relationship with your kids can provide everyone with a much-needed mental break.

“As stressful as it may be, try to enjoy the last few years of your life together,” Korngut said. “Look for the little moments of happiness in your daily life, the little things you can do together that bring joy to both of you. Teens really value being connected to their families. Everyone wants to feel loved, supported and appreciated – through this time Special times are very important.