For parents, the world of online gaming can be intimidating and downright scary. How do you know what your teenagers are talking about or hanging out on the internet? How do you know if they’re getting into a potentially predatory situation? While your child may never stumble onto the Internet in his or her entire life, the reality for parents today is that online gaming safety is something we must consider.
Of course, you keep a close eye on your teens’ social media use—and you’re well aware of the dangers. But how much do you know about the video games your children are playing? A study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics showed that more than 90% of children over the age of 2 play video games, with children aged 8 to 17 spending an average of 1.5 to 2 hours a day playing video games.
Not sure what to look for or even how to start protecting your children from online dangers? The scared mother asked the experts for advice.
What are the warning signs of inappropriate contact between children online?
It’s not uncommon for kids to want to spend time on their phones or with friends online communicating and playing games, but does screen time sometimes become more of a concern? Absolutely. Dr. Baback Bob Gabbay, attending psychiatrist and chief medical director at Destination Adolescent Centers in Woodland Hills, Calif., notes some specific warning signs parents can watch for:
- Staying in a room for long periods of time with the door locked
- Put away your phone or computer quickly when a parent or sibling enters the room
- Always holding the phone while eating
- Use different types of social media accounts
- Phone bill or Internet account charges that parents don’t recognize
- Hearing persistent text message alerts at odd times of day
How do I keep my teen safe while playing games?
Almost all games with chat features have a feature that allows parents or children to deactivate chat. Whether this is necessary is a parent’s decision and should be based on the child’s circumstances. However, don’t automatically assume that your child understands the lines between what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. Ultimately, even though older teens are still kids, they are still vulnerable, so establishing the precedent that you have access to their accounts is key. Don’t wait until something goes wrong to sneak in. Make it clear from the beginning that as a parent you have the right to access the account whenever you need it.
Also remember that children can self-report when they see something they find offensive. Typically, players can easily mute, block, or report other players. This doesn’t stop them from seeing offensive language or comments, but it does give them the ability to discern right from wrong.
Make sure children understand safety rules and house rules
“We don’t want our kids playing in the park and talking to 40-year-olds,” said Sid Khurana, MD, psychiatrist and co-founder of the Nevada Center for Mental Health. “So, now in a virtual space, it’s Same thing. Helping your kids understand the differences between online and in-person interactions by having open conversations with them is key. Ask your kids if they understand the differences and similarities in the rules of playing games with others. We don’t automatically know these things,” he reminded us.
Khurana recommends reminding children what is and is not okay. “Say something like: ‘If you see this, you ignore it’ or ‘If you see this, that’s when you call me,’ and then give them some basics,” he said. For example, you can remind your child that if something isn’t okay to say at the dinner table or at school, it’s a red flag. You can alert your children to swear words or words that make them uncomfortable, homophobic or racist words, or general language that will not be tolerated at home.
And don’t forget some basics. Children should never give out their home address, the school they attend, or even the city they live in to anyone online. It may be obvious to parents that credit card information should not be leaked, but it also needs to be crystal clear.
“Like we say, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” Khurana said. “The same goes for online. Once they’re online, it stays online. So don’t share your content, personal information, images or pictures with anyone, especially those who claim to be your online friends. You don’t know what’s going on on your screen Who is on the other side.
Play video games with kids
We know this might not be for everyone, but playing video games with your kids allows them to teach you (and laugh at you). Especially for teenagers, this can be effective. It also lets your child know that you are interested in their interests. Does this mean you need to play every game with them? Of course not. You can work together to find a game that you both enjoy—maybe one that you’re not very good at.
“Some parents like games themselves, and parents and children play together. That’s OK. But there are also parents who don’t like games,” Khurana said. “They need to give their kids space to talk and show interest, just like they would talk about what’s going on in swimming lessons or on the basketball court.”
Set up a gaming console or game center in a shared area
Setting up gaming consoles in a shared area of the home rather than in a child’s room can encourage more open conversations about gaming and make it easier for parents to set limits. It also allows parents to interact with their children while playing. Yes, we know this will elicit eye rolls, but it does drive home the point that no matter what kids are doing online, they should be able to talk about it with (or in front of) their parents.
