Supporting your partner when they make big lifestyle changes can be a great thing – but when do they expect to receive support? you Crossing the line?
That’s exactly what Reddit user u/Total-Dingo5709 wanted to know when he asked on the popular “Am I The Assh*le” (AITA) subreddit, “AITA secretly cheated on our vegetarian diet while my wife made our family Have you done this?
He explains how the diet started.
“Twelve months ago, my wife converted to a new religion, which included her giving up eating meat,” he wrote. “The whole family (me and our two little boys) got behind this and we hosted a vegetarian-only dinner that night as a little sign of support.”
However, after about eight months of herbivores and omnivores living peacefully together, things started to change.
“Basically, in addition to not eating meat, my wife now doesn’t want to be around it anymore.”
He wrote that she began replacing the family’s daily groceries with vegetarian meals.
“First, replace the pork in the house with jackfruit, replace the eggs with alternatives like Just Egg, buy only shirts from clean brands like Plant Faced Clothing, switch the deodorant to deodorant pills like GoScentless — you get the idea,” he said.
Not sure if I would personally go without deodorant with both boys, but to each their own.
The Reddit user explained that the changes had begun to put a strain on the family.
“To say this caused a rift would be an understatement, and ultimately, I raised it again with our wives that while we 100% support her decisions in these matters, I don’t think it would change things for the boys and me (of course, Unless they want to),” he wrote.
“The wife feels her values have changed and some of the things around her are really difficult for her and wants us to support her.”
But even their children are starting to feel the stress of this dietary change.
The Reddit user added: “It got so bad that the boys’ friends brought them meat from their houses because our house is completely out of meat now.”
Tensions came to a head when his wife was away on a three-day business trip. With no one to stop them, omnivores become more like carnivores.
“Basically, I’m a little embarrassed to write this – but the boys and I mostly eat meat, basically every chance we get,” he admits.
But somehow the secret got out when his wife returned, leading to a heated argument.
“After putting the kids to bed, we argued for hours about how I was setting a terrible example for my kids and that I should respect the decisions my wife made, even if they were ‘hard’ and ‘inconvenient.’ . It’s hard to argue because I can see where she stands, but the bottom line is just that I don’t want to be a vegetarian/vegan, and neither do the boys.
The comments were generally supportive of the suffering meat lover, calling him an “NTA” – “not a jerk”.
“NTA. Clearly, while you respect your wife’s choice to change her diet, it is unreasonable for her to expect everyone to adapt to the way she eats without regard to personal choice or preference. Marriage is a partnership, Crucial decisions – especially ones that affect the whole family – need to be made together. It’s important that your child makes her own choices about what she eats – her dietary restrictions shouldn’t dictate the rest of the family. What to eat, especially in her absence. If she values family unity, she must understand that compromise works both ways.
“NTB. My girlfriend is vegetarian and she has no problem with me eating meat, I just make sure I handle all the prep and cooking myself. Your wife is free to make her own choices, but It’s unfair for her to impose these choices on others.
Others noted, however, that Reddit seemed miserable because instead of simply buying groceries for himself, he relied on his wife for housework, calling the situation “ESH” – “everyone here sucks” .
“ESH, except for the children. Let’s take a moment to note that most wives do in fact decide all the food and clothing for the family. Those children have a father who can buy meat to cook at any time, which can cause conflicts between the adults. Argument. The OP is acting like a helpless victim when he has two hands and a wallet,” one user said.
So maybe everyone really sucks. Anyway, I hope they can sort this out for these kids, who seem like they might miss their dinosaur nuggets.
