Our son is only 3 years old, but this year he started attending a Montessori school for students in pre-K through 8th grade. For the first time, I faced the fears and anxieties that parents have faced for years: What if there was a shooting at my child’s school?
The first time we visited his new school, my husband and I went together, checked in at the front desk and had our little name tag stickers put on. It’s much larger than the home nursery for his 12 children. A preschool teacher came to greet us and show us around. As she led us out of the front office and into the lobby, she opened a pair of heavy blue double doors.
Just then, an image flashed through my mind: a picture from a man. washington post A story about the 2022 Robb Elementary School shooting in Uvalde, Texas. bag. when postal After publishing their story, I hesitantly read it because I knew that as a journalist covering children’s health and safety, it was important to absorb survivors’ narratives. As a parent visiting the new school my son will be attending, I want to put all of this out of my mind.
We decided this school would be perfect for our son and I kept that traumatic moment at the front door to myself. But before long, my algorithm made my fear of school shootings resurface. There’s a video on my TikTok feed of a mom talking about the insoles she bought for her kids. They have a circular AirTag-sized cutout on the underside so you can track your child’s whereabouts. Soon another video surfaced, this time of a website selling bulletproof backpack inserts in different sizes, essentially turning an ordinary school bag into an impenetrable shield.
In fact, I know my son is too young to use an insert like this in a meaningful way—he probably can’t even lift the thing. Knowing his exact whereabouts at school would not do me any good if a shooting occurred. While I think I could arrive and get him out of the classroom in three minutes, I’m not SEAL Team Six. But honestly, I still clicked through to the Amazon listing. The only reason I didn’t buy them was because they weren’t small enough.
It’s disgusting that these products exist, and even more disgusting that TikTok is forcing me to buy them; it’s just another thing on school supply lists these days. Then again, I understand why products like this are bought and sold: they’re a small way for parents to regain a sense of control. Gun violence is a systemic problem that will take a very, very long time to change. But with these, I can take a little comfort in two days.
Eventually I told my husband about my fears. I’m afraid of sending our son to a bigger school with more people I don’t know and more people coming in and out throughout the day. But we both agreed our son needed this – he was no longer able to go to daycare, he needed more studying, a larger outdoor play area, more trips to the library.
I also started talking to friends and colleagues who had children. A close friend who has three daughters said she often feels the same fear, but volunteering at her children’s school has been extremely helpful. Meeting administrators, teachers, other kids, and walking the halls make school feel more like part of a new community rather than a strange place waiting for a hypothetical tragedy to strike.
Last week at our son’s open house we met his teacher. She was the one giving us the tour and I had a weird gut feeling at the time that he might end up in her class. She has been at this school for decades; many teachers and administrators have. They had a librarian who played guitar, a chicken coop and a steel drum club. When I get his school supply list and the first item on the list is a clear backpack, these are the things I remind myself of.
I won’t pretend that my fear of school shootings has gone away; for every American parent, I’m sure the anxiety will always linger. But as my parents comforted me and they had endured it longer, I began to realize that tragedy was unlikely. What yes What is sure to happen is that my son will learn, grow, and become part of a new community that is ready to invest in him. That’s where I put my energy now – voting like his life depends on it.
Katie McPherson is the associate lifestyle editor for Romper and Scary Mommy. She enjoys reading, boxing, horseback riding, and lounging on the couch after a long day. She married her college sweetheart and now they have a son, a very large dog, and joint pain.
