My 11 year old started calling me “bro” and it’s all my fault. He never said it in a cute, loving context. Gives people a feeling of loss, are you serious Atmosphere. I’ve gotten over it. While I’m a little confused that we’re here, I don’t think I should be surprised. In my family, the lines between friends and parents are thin, especially when it comes to communication. I’ve set vague boundaries and maybe I need to be firm.
My husband and I both feel guilty for bringing us here. We never shy away from letting our eldest son laugh, chatting with him as a friend and sharing our sense of humor. We use sarcasm a lot, love slang, and swear a lot. I thought it was a funny joke. But now that he’s in middle school, he needs a firmer stance on certain things. Suddenly I realized, damn, it’s time to establish a boundary.
I have a middle school student and the atmosphere is changing. Training him not to call me “brother” in a complete teenage attitude is just one more thing to remind me that we are in a new phase. I don’t think I like it.
Because it’s still fun, but now sometimes I need to wear an extra adult hat, too. One that’s less playful and more serious. I don’t like serious things, but suddenly, we need it. I could see his confidence growing and with it his curiosity for things that were rebellious and challenging. As his mom, I need to be ready to take charge, which would be nearly impossible if I were his “brother.”
So today, we’re making changes. Less sarcasm, less random adult banter, less swearing. It may not happen overnight, and hopefully not forever, but the next phase of parenting is going to require a little less friends and a little more mommy. Even if it’s not always that fun. I will be patient with him as I work to change the dynamic because the change may be a shock to his system. Unfortunately for him, as the oldest child, he is my non-voluntary guinea pig when it comes to parenting, and some things you only learn through experience.
step is a former lawyer and mother of four who often swears. Find her on Instagram @sammbdavidson.
