Every year, when the leaves start to change color on the quiet streets of small New England towns, I’m immediately reminded of one of my favorite childhood memories from the ’90s: Halloween. It’s the highlight of every fall, a night of simple, no-fuss, old-fashioned fun. This is the kind of fun I want for my four kids—fun that’s hard to come by today with all the obsession with screens and overly packed schedules. So every year I try my best to create a Halloween night for them like the ones I had as a kid. Because of God, they are amazing.
This is a community-wide event. Parents sat in the driveway with adult beverages and snacks while all the kids gathered together to plan their routes. We always start with a large group of adults and children, making sure the little ones have hands to hold as they go from house to house. After a while, the younger children got tired of walking and it was time for the parents to relax while the older children went out on their own.
Without cell phones, there would be no natural form of communication other than planned check-ins after each street was completed. As the kids made their way through town, parents gathered around the fire pit and appetizers, laughing and swapping stories. Back at the mark, emptying the pillowcases filled with goodies, having a quick drink, we shared funny stories and updates on what had happened that night.
It’s a free night. I was always accompanied by my responsible older siblings but still felt independent and could walk the streets around town without my parents hanging around. My costumed friends and I hiked from house to house discussing our favorite candies. When we arrive at a house generous enough to hand out “full-size” candy, we chant “full-size house” loudly and ritually for all passers-by to hear.
There’s always been a few special people in the house who know us – my grandma, a family friend, my mom’s best friend – who always go the extra mile for their favorite trick-or-treating effort. One of them makes homemade candy apples every year. She wrapped them in wax paper and tied them with a curly orange ribbon. Instead of putting it in a pillowcase, we find a spot on her front porch and enjoy every bite. Our legs got a brief rest and she had the chance to snap a photo of us and admire our smiles as we devoured one of our favorite treats of the evening.
As night fell, fully dark and our legs tired, parents and children gathered in a nearby house. When our parents finished their socializing before we went home for bed, we would inventory, organize, and evaluate our collections. At the end of each night, I remember feeling tired and sad that it was all over, but already looking forward to the year ahead.
So while our Halloween may be limited right now — making it a little impossible for us to spend our nights wandering around dark neighborhoods and knocking on doors — technology-free and carefree — I will do my best to foster the same in my kids I absolutely love the old fashioned experience.
I would give them as much freedom as my anxiety would allow, and I would invite neighborhood friends over to our driveway for a bite to eat. I would make this a night filled with family and friends—adults gathering together to laugh, just like my parents did so many years ago. While I’m not a chef, I might try some candy apples. Because I remember exactly what it felt like to open my package on Halloween night. If I can bring this kind of joy to my neighbor’s kids, I’m in!
step is a former lawyer and mother of four who frequently uses profanity. Find her on Instagram @sammbdavidson.
