Decades of situation comedies and bad stand-up comedians have perpetuated the idea that women become (or remain) uninterested in sex after marriage. But even science seems to take this for granted a lot of the time, marketing a plethora of creams, pills, and couples therapies to solve this “lady problem.” But TikTok founder Sommer Tothill (@sommertothill) wants us to rethink why we simply take this “reality” for granted…
In a spliced video, a medical professional observes that her male patients often ask their wives about their low libido and wonder if there are lab tests or medications that might help solve the problem. This is where Tohir pops up and makes her point.
“These men would rather believe that women are biologically wired to desire less sex and that there must be some kind of scientific treatment, rather than accepting that perhaps the way they behave is fundamentally irreversible.”
Sister, tell me more. Actually, first of all, let me get some popcorn, because I think this is going to be really delicious…
Tohill highlights studies that find women’s sexual desire decreases when men don’t do their fair share of housework.
“Their female partners start to see them as just another child to take care of, which is not sexy,” she explains.
Tohill then goes on to debunk some commonly held but seriously misguided notions about women, which hold that women are “naturally” less libido-less. Women get tired of their partners much faster than men get tired of their female partners. Women are no worse visually than men, and neither are women’s ability to reach orgasm: When women masturbate (especially clitoral stimulation), they “finish” in almost the same time as men.
“So, if you’re a man who’s upset because the women in your life have lost sexual attraction to you, maybe you could look at the fact that you may have become one of her extra kids who’s lazy at home, and you won’t Get her in bed and you look like shit.
Is this harsh? Yes. Do a lot of Do men really need to hear, think about and internalize the message that they need to progress in their families and sex? I mean…
“I told my ex about this and he just doesn’t get it,” lamented one commenter (whose sentiments echo those of many others).
Another wrote: “My ex forced me to see a doctor and accused me of sexual trauma, and I was not interested in him for all the reasons listed above.” (Please note, this is the first of many “ex” partners. two) mentioned).
“This is the only time a man cares about his wife’s health,” another said sarcastically.
So, gentlemen, next time you and your wife are stuck in a rut and you don’t like it, maybe instead of wondering what’s wrong with her, think carefully about how you create a fuck-able atmosphere in your home of.
