I’m tired of waking up angry every morning. At 6 a.m., while I’m still trying to open my eyes, someone is either crying or asking me to warm up macaroni and cheese. I would start the day angry. From that point on, we’re in a constant state of rushing and complaining, and making crazy compromises for the simplest of tasks.
“Please go brush your teeth!” became “Go brush your teeth now!” We’re going to be late! Astronomical volume. As I walked my daughter off to school, she was a stressed out, angry mom muttering “Why isn’t anyone listening to me?!” under my breath. And then I would spend the rest of the day feeling incredibly guilty for what I had done.
I knew something needed to change in the morning, but I didn’t even know where to start. So, I crowdsourced my mom friends. They all had great ideas for how to make mornings less messy, but one tip stood out the most: develop a visual habit.
Our family has always had a routine. There’s a sequence to the action, there’s a method to the madness, but somehow there’s still so much fighting. So many power struggles. Getting my daughter to comb her hair or put on her socks takes twice as long as it does for us to get out the door on time for school. So, I tried a vision program.
I got creative and wrote out her entire morning routine verbatim with pictures and symbols (since we are still in the early stages of reading!). I included everything from getting up and changing out of my pajamas to putting on my shoes and heading out the door.
When I introduced this routine to her, she was delighted. But even better, she wanted To complete these tasks that she had so resisted. She loves to check the boxes. She was eager to see what would happen next. My daughter always asks me, “What are we doing today?”
Now, I can say, “Look at your routine board!”
Recently, I was lucky enough to get a free regular board from Charmspring (the company behind Springboard). This is a magnetic board with custom tiles, very similar to the one I made, but a really nice step up. Like any routine board, it helps encourage responsibility, independence and executive function in children while also giving parents a good downtime.
Springboard is perfect for our family. It’s the perfect size for all the custom tile we need to add in our busy schedule, and it’s beautiful so it’s not an eyesore in our kitchen. We hung the chalkboard at eye level so my daughter could clearly see everything that was coming up for the week and add her own free time choices. (“Playing outside” and “Scooter” always seem to show up on the board in some way! Funny how this keeps happening!)
The magnetic tiles are easy to mix and match, and Charmspring also sends out some blank tiles for activities or tasks that might not be available to order on their website, like her ninja classes.
Parents can obviously go the DIY route and make a regular board with just some paper and markers. There are also some super cute (and more affordable!) options on Etsy, like this smaller board or this velcro option.
Research shows that children thrive on daily routines. Knowing what their day is like can provide safety and comfort and make it easier to transition from one activity to the next.
For young children, structure and routine can help them gain confidence, according to Seattle Children’s Hospital.
Plus, I know that family life goes much more smoothly through morning breakfast routines, school routines, age-appropriate chores, shared family dinners, and regular bedtimes. We have the right pieces, but we just need to put them in place in a way that works best for our family. Having something visual that my kids can actually see and engage with makes all the difference.
