Time and time again we hear stories about incompetent fathers and husbands. People who insist on having a big family, but when it comes to the actual work of raising that family, they quit. One mom is calling out this double standard in her latest TikTok, noting that men are taught to think Children, not how to raise and care for children.
“Men are taught to want children, but they are not taught how to be fathers. There are many men who want children. Fewer and fewer men want to be fathers, and as a woman, it is very important to distinguish between the two because they are different,” Ai Bea Ecker pointed out.
“A man who wants children, he thinks about legacy. He thinks about family reputation, letting the ego run around, letting the kids run around, milestones, highlights. Yet, few men think about it. “I want to be a dad” considers the daily drudgery, the midnight feedings, the diaper changes, and the inevitable sports they will participate in.
Then she delved into deeper issues Why This kind of thinking happens to men: an age-old social norm.
“We instill messages in boys about being providers, protectors. But when was the last time you actually saw a boy being taught how to parent? How many young male nannies do you have on your roster? I don’t. You see How many little boys have walked around holding a doll, feeding her and changing her diapers? she asked before heeding a warning to women looking for a life-long reproductive partner.
“So, before you have a baby with a man, look at how they take responsibility. Do they take initiative in doing things, or do they always sit back and wait for you to tell them what to do? Do they notice situations where they don’t have to be asked? What needs to be done next? Because having a baby is about the destination and having a baby is about the journey,” she said.
“So next time a man tells you he wants children, ask him a few questions. What type of role does he intend to play in his children’s lives? Ask him what role a father plays in his life. Is he making lunch? Is he taking him to the doctor? Because the difference between a man who wants a child and a man who wants to be a father is very important. We cannot ignore it.
After her video gained attention, hundreds of TikTok users voiced their opinions about this double standard.
“The same goes for marriage. Do they just want a wife, or do they want to be a husband?
Another person shared, “When our son was five he wanted a doll. I bought him one – and the carrier, clothes, diapers – everything. Everyone was stunned. I’m just saying -He’s going to be a father one day, isn’t he?
fact. We had no good examples and no one to teach us. We must do better for our sons,” one user wrote.
