Who among us doesn’t love a good bit of rot (that’s when you hunker down and do your thing) there is nothing A productive hour, day or weekend)? The miraculous benefits of rotting are obvious to anyone who takes the time to do so, and TikTok user @ciaoamber, who posts about parenting, homeschooling, and the joys of being Italian-American, agrees.
In fact, she thinks there’s one group in particular that should do nothing: kids.
“For a society that cares so much about mental health… I can’t believe we don’t prioritize letting kids do nothing — giving kids space to do nothing, not be told what to do, not Go to school, don’t have to learn anything, don’t have to do activities, don’t have to be coached, don’t have to travel around, I mean. adult We don’t even like how busy we are now, adults can’t even handle it, but we think kids can.
Amber then recounted talking about Amber’s homeschooling day with a friend (whose children attend traditional school). Amber mentioned doing homework in the morning and then spending time exercising at home while her kids have time to “do whatever they want.” The friend then tried to reassure Amber, saying that the break was fine, like a break, but that Amber didn’t need such reassurances.
“No, no, no: that’s by design,” she said. “I want my kids to have time every day to do whatever they want: to be creative and come up with something.”
“As parents, we instinctively believe that we need to be constantly having fun or doing some activity with our children,” she continued. “We all need room to breathe, especially little kids. … So we’re very worried about mental health, but we’re putting stress on kids!”
Understandably, this message resonates with parents on the app… maybe it’s because we’re the ones taking our kids to events, or we feel completely clueless if we don’t. Unfounded feelings of guilt.
“It’s okay for kids to do nothing,” one commenter agreed. “I think it’s them figuring it out. If they’re bored, my kids will figure out what to do to entertain themselves.
“I distinctly remember not wanting to do much after school because I just needed a break from a long day of activities,” said another. “We all need a mental break.”
Others also recognized themselves in the cautionary elements of Amber’s message.
“I need to hear this. I’m always worried that we don’t have a ‘book’ and I fail,” they said. “I feel very guilty that he overbooked.”
Another commenter summed up the video succinctly, noting that unstructured play is “the gift of time.”
Of course, for some families, scheduling morning, noon, and evening hours isn’t a matter of mom guilt or comparisons: it’s because we have to work to survive, and we want to provide structure, care, and entertainment for our kids. This isn’t about being neurotic or ignoring your child’s needs: sometimes “overscheduling” is our best option. Still, for those of us, the footage serves as an important reminder that we might be able to do less to reflect on how our children spend their time and why.
So maybe next time you’re trying to figure out how to keep your kids entertained or busy, take a step back, take a breath, and give them space to figure things out on their own.
