The birth of a baby is one of the most magical moments in life. Suddenly, a new human being appeared in the world – and at the same moment, a mother was created. Because this moment is so important, there are many opinions and misconceptions about how mother and baby should spend their first few special moments. There’s also a lot of judgment about how moms should feel.
This is what one mum discovered when she gave birth to baby girl Olivia, and many may think it’s a strange reaction. Pop that Mumma (@popthatmumma on TikTok) recently shared a video documenting the first moments of her daughter’s life and her reaction to it.
The birth takes place in a bathtub and ends with the baby being placed in the father’s arms by a midwife or midwife. But instead of interacting with the baby and being present and elated, the new mother has her eyes closed and remains motionless.
“It took me eight minutes to see my baby, a stark contrast to the images of instant love we so often see,” she wrote in the video’s caption. “My experience was different. I needed this. But the beauty of it is that when I finally came back to myself and hugged Olivia, I felt it effortlessly, and if you’ve been through this, that’s okay – you just need a little bit. It is time to exhale birth and return to your body.
In the video, medical professionals examine her and the baby but remain quiet and respectful of dad. Her partner also steps closer, checking on her and the baby but allowing her to keep her space and take her time.
“I couldn’t look straight after my baby was born,” the caption read. “I’m in shock. I need this time. It’s time to get back into my body. That means when I finally come back, I’m back whole. Ready to hug our daughter with my whole life. No one rushes me .I am forever grateful to have this moment.
While what Pop experienced isn’t the only reaction moms have after giving birth, it’s not uncommon. And there is nothing harmful or harmful to the mother or the baby.
In the doula community, what this mom experienced is sometimes called a “birth pause,” a term likely coined by midwife Karen Strange that explains the time a mother may need after delivery to process the birth and A moment that gives birth and takes some time.
Doula Mary Esther Mallory also describes this phenomenon extensively in her article “Waiting to Breathe In: How to Relax in the Moment of Birth,” published in Journal of Perinatal Education 2011.
“You must exhale the breath of labor before you inhale the baby,” she wrote eloquently in her essay.
In the article, Mallory suggested that health professionals assisting with childbirth should give mothers the option to pause labor after labor and place the baby next to or near her, rather than encouraging immediate interaction or expecting immediate outpourings of joy or love. After all, doesn’t it make sense that the momentous moments of birthing a child and becoming a mother can take some time to process and calm down?
In the comments, many parents said they, too, needed to take a break from having children.
“I was so traumatized by the pain and long ordeal that when it was finally over, I couldn’t believe what had just happened,” one mom shared. “It took some time to come back to reality.”
“Thank you for normalizing this,” another mom wrote. “I feel like the worst mom in the world because I don’t want to hold my baby as soon as she comes out. I’ve been working for 36 hours and I’m exhausted.” Yes. It takes a minute!
Some L&D nurses also spoke.
“This is a completely normal reaction,” one nurse wrote. “I’ve seen it many times. Please don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.
“As a nurse working in this field I have seen this happen many times,” another wrote. “We are taught not to push this on our new mama bears. We have to let her grow on her own Time connection. Childbirth has a physical and mental impact.
One of the most frustrating parts of being a parent is that you’re constantly being judged—and that judgment can literally start from the moment you’re born. Let’s realize that there are many completely natural and normal ways of feeling in the seconds, minutes and hours after birth. We also need to realize that sometimes moms just need a minute!
