I remember the parade of support knocking on my door when I brought my first child home. People came with gifts, meals and text messages asking about my physical and mental health. It was like a warm hug from my entire community who put their arms around me and my baby as I transitioned into motherhood, everyone so genuinely cared and wanted to help lighten my load.
This is awesome and I’m so grateful. But ironically, I didn’t really need much help at the time. Now I need extra hands. Somehow I feel more prepared for life with a newborn. It can be more difficult with older children. So, wIs this my support train?
Life is as chaotic as a dumpster fire in the middle of a three-ring circus. To be honest, I didn’t expect my child to encounter such difficulties at this stage.
I remember watching seasoned moms with a van full of older kids when my first child was in diapers and thinking about myself cruising through life at that time. I’m not sure if it’s because I have four kids, but this stage of life is really killing me. OMG I could really use a dinner delivery service.
But I get it. I’m not stepping into a completely new character. Instead of little toes to scratch, my house is filled with oversized feet, dirty nails, and mild body odor. The sink was filled with too many dirty cereal bowls and sweaty exercise equipment piled in the corner.
Maybe because I’ve been doing this for so long, people think I have it all figured out. Before I entered this stage myself, this is what I thought when I saw moms in this stage. But the reality is, I’m kind of drowning. Because the fact is, For me, caring for a group of strong-willed, full-scheduled, growing people with every day craziness is much harder than juggling a feeding and sleeping schedule with my new baby. .
To be clear, I am not talking about neonatal life Very easy. Of course, this is too difficult. But maybe next time, when you’re packing up a gift basket for that new mom down the street, throw a loaf of banana bread on the steps of the mom you’re juggling with a few older, wilder kids. And a couple of deodorants.
If you’re sending a sweet check-in text to the mom of an adorable little kid, send her a fire emoji and ask her if she needs any help with her weekly carpool. Or just a compliment, like I saw your kids on the basketball court tonight and they were so polite to you. I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing and was a little lost. I hope when I get out of this phase I can take the time to spread love as well. Because, God, couldn’t we all use a little help?
step is a former lawyer and mother of four who often swears. Find her on Instagram @sammbdavidson.
