Every day, I look at my 10- and 13-year-olds and gaze lovingly into their eyes and see the little kids, toddlers, and babies they once were. I gently kiss their foreheads while thinking two thoughts at the same time: “I miss my little baby” and “Thank God you’re not a baby anymore.”
Those early years were wonderful, unforgettable, unparalleled, but also so, so difficult. TikTok user Lindsey (who posts as @lindseymariecolor_ on TikTok) has a message for moms like me: now that we’ve made progress, it’s our job to help new parents. So, get your casseroles ready!
“This video is for parents who have decided not to have more children,” she began.
“Perhaps you or your partner have made the decision for good and you no longer have any decisions to make. You are not pregnant, you are not breastfeeding, and all of your children are now fully potty trained. You don’t have to carry it around Diaper bags, you might even be able to skip the car seat altogether, and you won’t have to help your kids unpack their snacks, they can do it themselves. If everything I’ve described sounds a lot like your life right now: Congratulations, you’re now The Village. .
Of course, “Village” references the adage – “It takes a village to raise a child.”
“You prepare new meals for your parents, you take the initiative to clean the house, and you take the initiative to take the older kids to the park when someone has a new baby,” she continued.
She preemptively pointed out that when anyone opposes the ordinance, they themselves are lacking help. their The children are still young.
“You don’t have a village: how does that make you feel?” she asked. “Ever feel lonely? Is it isolated? Is this making your postpartum depression worse?
Parents of older children have it much easier, she noted doing thing. Simple things like getting out of the house or eating. Caring for a helpless child anything It’s exhausting to do it for yourself (aside from creating chaos: they’ve been good at it since day one), and even asking for help can be overwhelming, because where do you even begin to ask? Lindsey also has a suggestion for this.
“When you know people — coworkers, friends, neighbors — who have kids, they have kids under three, they’re going through something very difficult, they’re going through grief: Make food for them. Get food to them. Home. Don’t say “How can I help? ” Just say “Hey, I can bring food on Tuesday or Friday, which day works better for you?” ” …help in a way that actually helps, rather than leaving the decision to them because…they can’t make executive decisions right now. Make the decision for them. When you’re in your new motherhood, be the person you need to be For people, it’s very difficult.
Disappointingly, reaction to the news has been mixed. While many express a desire to spend time with their friends, family and neighbors, others proudly boast how no They agreed to the plan on the ship.
“No ma’am I’m not,” one comment read. “I just got over that phase.”
“Having my fallopian tubes removed when I was 23,” said another. “I wouldn’t do anything for anyone. Unless they’re immediate family.
“The best thing about not having many friends is not having to stay in a village,” wrote a third.
Many people claim that life has become busier now that their children are older and more active.
See, no stage is easy. But as a mom of a busy teen, I think anyone who claims this stage is more demanding may have forgotten what it’s like to have your kids dependent on you for every aspect of their lives. Society as a whole should probably take a moment to remember this…and then go to your friend who just had a baby with a lasagna and folding laundry attitude…
